believe;

quizta claus pays a visit.

2007-10-15T20:57:00.000+08:00

About guys,Turned ON, OFF or DM (Don't matter):

Is taller than you: On.
Is shorter than you: Off. Thats just weird.
Wears braces: On. I wear braces too.
Dresses Preppy: Depends on how preppy.
Dresses Ghetto: Off.
Dresses Gothic: On, to a certain extent.
Has blue eyes: On, but it doesn't really matter i guess.
Has green eyes: On, doesn't really matter though.
Has hazel eyes: On
Has brown eyes: On
Drinks alcohol: On. Not too much.
Wears glasses: Off. but i dont mind.
Smokes: Off. smokers suck, and they are bad kissers.
Plays sports: DM
Smiles a lot: On
Calls you just to say Hi: DM. But I'll like it if he calls to say iloveyou. :D
Compliments you: On.
Likes to talk: On, but not too much shit. Must know when to talk and when to shut up.
Shy and quiet: Off.
Good dancer: On.
Wears jewelry: i don't know. necklaces, ew. piercing, hellyeah.
Smiles when you walk in the room: On i guess
Has brown hair: On.
Has Black hair: On, if it looks good on him.
Has blonde hair: On if it's not fake ahbeng blonde kind, but natural.
Has red hair: On, if its natural.
Makeup: Off. mostly.
Can make you laugh at any given moment: ON.
Loyal: On.
Laid back: On.
Plays guitar: On.
Plays piano: DM
ays drums: On.
Sing: On.
He's buff (muscles): On.
Easily jealous: On.
Doesn't eat meat: DM.
Has a tattoo: DM. as long as its not some hugeass dragon shit.
Has a lip ring: On.
Tongue ring: DM.
Is of a different religion: Off. I want a christian.
Puts close friends before you: off.

Oookay, that was so random, but who doesn't like doing quzzes right?

at kap with kath and lots

2007-04-02T20:07:00.000+08:00

3/4 of the crew went out to KAP on Friday. it was fun! haha and really retarded. (CHARMAINE WE MISS YOUU!)

anyway these are the pictures taken from charlotte's blog.

three quarters of DA CREW.
you know you love us (:
TKAMB.
teddy bear club!
kath likes the spoon
emooooo
emooooooooo
hello mr gay phone
hellomoto!

kathleen doing the doodoo groove

kath wentz!
kath wentz again
cara wentz!

lot's burger (it has blackheads and pores)
bang and drama
laughter is good.
spasticity
haunt youuu

2007-03-29T20:50:00.000+08:00

i'm officially a feminist.
girls rule boys drool indeed.

watching 'i don't love you' by my chemical romance. it's interesting.

Gerard Way is the hottest guy ever lived.
his voice is sex redifined.and i could just get lost in his beautiful hazel eyes.. and his lashes are like HOW LONG la. omg i'm in love. go watch the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8bvtcg7Gak

for some reason i can't paste the video here.
he dyed his hair back to black. omg i love it so much.
but longer hair is sexier. ;)

anyway i'm feeling better now. thanks everyone for the caring messages. lovelove!

(after i re-read this post, it didn't sound like it was written by me. that's a good thing.)

2007-03-19T20:29:00.000+08:00

i love bullet for my valentine!
zomgxzxz.
they are the awesomest! their music is SO metal. it's the BEST.
all their songs are nice. i just want to SCREAM along with all their songs. gotta love all that screaming. and the guitar is WHOA.
okay anway.
today i was feeling quite crappy after school cos of you. but it's okay, you poor little SAD asshole, i'm ready to give up on you.
yes, you make me cry.
yes, you make me depressed and nutty.
yes, you watch me cry and feel a sense of victory.
but i forgive you.

i'm feeling angry because of listening to so much bullet for my valentine, and even though i may sound strong now, i'm probably gonna start crying again later on.

but LA-DEE-FREAKING-DAH you can take your STUPIDITY and SHOVE IT UP YOUR STINKY ASS.

i feel this need to listen to emocore/heavymetal music nowadays. whenever i'm sad, i listen to bullet for my valentine and i'm better.

i'm hoping this phase will pass soon, cos i still want to be able the listen to christian music and feel peaceful. i like feeling peaceful.

well today i was quite hyper and unusually happy, until YOU came along.
nvm, i'm not going to continue and make myself sad. i want to keep this angry mood.

there's a pulse and its deafening
I cant help what i hear in my head,
Its the switch that i flip they said,
Hand of Blood
I dont wanna feel like my heart is breaking,
Hand of Blood
I dont wanna see that life is burning

2007-03-08T12:02:00.000+08:00

a, b and c are friends.
c is moody nowadays, so a and b just talk to each other and leave c out. is that right? i don't know. i guess c understands that if she has nothing to say, b and c can't do anything to include her. she understands. but it's still quite painful for c to not be close to anyone anymore. c is the type that needs true friends to support her whenever she's down, cos she's always down.

C has friends, but she does not know if they're true. if every single one of them can be trusted.

if b and a leave c out, what should she do?

1) just smile at them, be really friendly, pretend nothing happened and bottle everything inside.

2) act really cold towards them and bottle up everything inside.

3) scold them for leaving her out, for being bitches and contributing to her depression.

normally c will do option 2. but lately she's been wondering, what good will it do, being cold to them? she's tried option 3 before but it just made it worse. so she's going to try option 1 for as long as she can take it.

c is extremely emotional. she cries very easily, and she hates it. so she's going to try to channel her frustration and sadness into anger. she's not going to cry anymore.

just keep holding on.

i just have to keep believing that everything will be alright soon.

i wanna change so badly. i hate who i am. i don't have any hands to hold anymore. i'm falling, who's gonna catch me? i'm bleeding, who's gonna be my tourniquet? lately i've been drowning in my self pity and my seemingly never ending chain of blood from the wound in my soul, i've not had much time for God. where is he when i need him?

lately i feel like i can't really trust anyone anymore. it's scary, i used to be the person who could trust anyone at all, just show me that you like me for who i am. but no, that's not enough. i can't tell who likes me for who i am and who likes me for who i'm not. i'm moody, i have a lot of hatred, i'm angry, i'm sad, i'm confused. and so as a result i'm quieter in school. every day i get people asking me 'are you okay?' at least twice a day. my reply is always the same: i nod. just a gentle nod, cos it's the most ambiguous reply i can think of. NO, I'M NOT O-FUCKING-KAY. I'M DYING FROM A WOUND IN MY SOUL, DON'T YOU SEE IT? no, you don't. you don't like me for who i am.

yes, you may say i am acting emo or trying to be someone i'm not. it's not true. i'm not acting. i need help. i'll probably get split personalites soon if i continue like this. or maybe bi-polar disorder.

i'm going to try to be as happy as i can, to hide behind the mask of my wide grin and inject as much enthusiasm as i can into everything i do. maybe if i act enough, it may just become real.

happy cny!

2007-02-17T20:54:00.000+08:00

happy chinese new year everyone!
well, i had the usual tang yuan fan. it was okay, nothing much out of the ordinary happened. my brother accidentally squirted my grandma's eye with fishball juice though.
anyway, later on, i bathed. i was singing 'big spender', when i realised i had an audience. i looked to my left and staring at me was a yellow lizard. it was gross. i could see it's black veins and beady eyes and all. seeing it, i did the obvious thing.
i screamed, pointed the shower head at it, and squirted the little pervert, forgetting that lizards liked water. (i think).
instead of falling out the window, it climbed up the wall. i don't know how it managed that because the walls were all wet from my drunken stupor of attempting to squirt it (i had 2 glasses of white wine). i felt my modesty had been violated, so i quickly got out of the shower to wrap a towel around myself.
the stupid pervert FOLLOWED ME. it climbed on the CEILING and FOLLOWED ME. this was when i realised it was probably a male lizard.
i wrapped the towel around myself, then the lizard FELL OFF THE CEILING. thank goodness it didn't fall onto me, but it fell onto the patch of mat next to me, which was bad enough.
i screamed and kicked at the mat, and it scurried off behind the toilet bowl.
damn thing saw me naked. wtf. such a pervert la.
LIZARDS ARE PERVERTS. eek.

V. day

2007-02-14T09:43:00.000+08:00

i'm in the computer lab now.. still feeling quite sad today. i don't know why this time.
anyway happy valentine's day everyone! my love extends to you. heh.
i am a little more cheered up today cos i got more than i expected. thanks for the gifts! looovvvee!
i'm stoning.. i don't know what to blog about.
ehh.. nvm. i'll blog later.

LIFE'S A BITCH.

2007-02-10T12:07:00.000+08:00

i am miserable.
and i dare say that is an understatement.
everthing in my life is wrong right now.
i feel ostracised, targeted, shot down and fucked up.
to you:
one moment you're good to me, and just when i think things are gonna start changing, you treat me badly. i hope one day you'll have a bitter taste of what i'm going through right now.

to both of you:
STOP LEAVING ME OUT. IT'S NOT FUNNY, AND YOU MAY THINK I'M BEING OVERSENSTIVE BUT HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU FEEL BEING LEFT OUT FOR SO LONG. when i'm lonely my penknife seems to beg for me to join it in painkilling matrimony.

to all of you:
thanks for being my "friends". i hope you slip on a banana peel and fall on your head, leading you to have a painful seizure and possibly some brain damage.

to you guys:
thanks for cheering me up by passing me messy blue inked notes in class, risking getting caught by Mr S. you guys really helped when i was crying my lungs out. i love you people. (:

she never was and never will be
she bleeds but no one sees.
fake a laugh, fake a smile
blood will make it worth her while.
ostracise her, stab her back
blood makes up for tears she lacks.
steal paradise, suffocate her soul
bleed her shadows, kiss the cold.
she sucks on lithium, innocence lost
she locks her heart at such a cost.
turn off the lights,she'll sharpen her blade
tear her flesh, his price she paid.

written by me.
the first line is from everybody's fool by evanescence. i got the cd! thank you sean.
that first line really inspired me to write my feelings out in the form of poetry. This isn't my best work, but at least it's better than nothing.

MISERY HAS BECOME MY COMPANY.

2007-02-04T15:54:00.000+08:00

Give me a shot to remember
And you can take all the pain away from me
A kiss and I will surrender
The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead.

slept at 3.30 last night.. feeling stoned now. i was so high last night haha. and it just hit me that i am REALLY dirty minded. ahaha.

i am IN LOVE with gerard way's voice. his voice is just.. sexy. mm i like. heh.
i'm in love with 'i never told you what i do for a living' by my chemical romance. it's a great song. and the lyrics are so cool. i like the part where he says 'another knife in my hands, a stain that never comes off the sheets, clean me off; i'm so dirty babe'. especially when he says 'i'm so dirty babe.' HOT! :D
and 'never again, and never again, they gave us two shots to the back of the head and we're all dead now.'

ahh!! this song is so nice! sexaye song.

well i'm a little less depressed nowadays.. still sad but i'm okay.. last night cheered me up. haha.

yesterday, i went to new creation church 'dare'. it was cool haha. and later i walked around suntec with liling, angel and quan. it was damn fun! we walked around the fountain of wealth and splashed water all over each other and accidentally splashed onto innocence passer-by's (who then proceeded to scold us).then we catwalked down the long narrow pathway completely soaked. :D

then after that we ate at carl's junior. i was saying something about acsi when suddenly this weird dude turned around and started telling us his problems. he's a sec3 guy from acsi. i'm not gonna embarrass him by putting his name here but HE'S SO WEIRD! and he said we're abnormal cos we laughed a lot.

we made fun of him practically to his face and he didn't even notice. damnn he's so freaky.

then we took a ride home from angel's mom and we had to squish in the backseat (4 people.) and i was squashed with Quan and he said 'your butt is so bony, i can feel your bones!' and then i screamed 'YOU FEEL MY BUTT AH?!?' then he didn't reply. haha. damn funny la.

so yeah. yesterday was damn fun. LOVE LOVE LOVE!

2007-01-28T15:13:00.000+08:00

hello.
liling stayed over last night. haha. it was quite fun. we talked a lot. she's a good friend to talk to when i'm feeling sad. (: anyway. i'd like to take this post to thank people for the presents they've given me. It's so weird that people relatively close to me didn't give me anything and people who weren't that close to me gave me stuff. :/
(in no particular order of preference)

Liling: thank you SO SO SO MUCH for the AFI cd. I'm in love with it right now. it can definitely compete with my chemical romance. it's my favourite present (: love you!

SeanPong: thanks for getting me evanescence's cd! (: i really really appreciate it.

Charlotte: thank you for the cup and the flying bear keychain. i like the bear. it's HOT.

Diane & Rachel: thanks for the borders gift card! i definitely have to go to borders one of these days.

Josh: thank you so much for the rings necklace. it's really cool. a bit ah beng but still really cool. (:

Gail: thank you for the mini diary and the happyhouse keychain. the happyhouse thing is so happy looking. haha.

Russell: thank you for the earrings. it looks great since you didn't choose it. ahah.

MeiYi: thank you for the cute flower bookmark. i'm definitely gonna use it.

2D: thank you for the TY birthday bear. it's really cute.

if i left you out, please let me know. i don't think i left anyone out though. yep.
so yeah. thank you all for everything. i love you all a lot. I'm still adding to the list. So stay tune for updates. :D

2007-01-24T20:57:00.000+08:00

my birthday was okay..
i got my piercing. haha. i was going to get it on my upper ear but i chickened out last minute and pierced my left lobe instead. so yeah. maybe next year i'll pierce the upper ear.
i didn't get many presents.. so many people said 'your present will be late k? sorry sorry'. and i know they're not going to get a present for me anyway. but it's okay. i was sorta expecting it.
i went for drama today.. it was quite cool. i acted as a pessimistic/angry person on stage and i really went all out and vented all my anger, so much so that some people were asking if i really was angry with them. I was feeling so much anger and hatred today. My eyes have also been really really puffy these few days. sigh. i can't stop it from getting puffy. i'm just really messed up right now.

things always happen on days that are meant to be happy. last xmas, i lost someone very dear to me. and then on my birthday too. i think people are just aiming for those happy days to destroy me. i think it's sadistic. i hope you trip and fall and bleed and drown in your pool of crimson blood.

yeah well. happy birthday to me. sigh.

2007-01-20T10:29:00.000+08:00

created a 'clones and other stuff' section on my sidebar so that all that nonsensical shits i created won't be wasted. for those that don't know what that is, click the freakish titles in 'clones and other stuff'. (:

2007-01-19T18:07:00.000+08:00

so my birthday's coming soon. normally i'd be really excited, but it seems that birthdays have lost their meaning and all. i'm trying to arrange everything to celebrate with my friends but they always can't make it. I guess they just don't care. Anyway i've decided i'm going to get another piercing.Don't know where exactly but i'm definitely gonna get it. it'll be my birthday present to myself.

well i've been alright these few days. nothing exciting has been happening, and i was sick recently with a slight lung infection but it's okay now. I'm not feeling happy. My happiness nowadays is very short lived. it's not fair how other people can be so happy-go-lucky while people like me have to suffer beneath a 'oh-i'm-so-happy-look-at-me-i'm-smiling' exterior.

well i hope you're happy now. that'll be the only 'good' thing that's coming out of my depressiveness.

every day, i just don't have anything to look forward to anymore. it's sad. I've lost almost all my innocence and almost every shred of long-lived joy and happiness.

ah screw it la.

2007-01-13T13:31:00.000+08:00

okay you know how much i absolute adore my chemical romance right?
yeah now i'm officially freaked out. super freaked out.
i went to search the meanings of their songs cos i was so obsessed over them and i found that all their songs are about death and drugs and more death. but i didn't really mind that part cos i'm kinda weird.
but the freaky part was that when i saw that someone said 'the ghost of you' backwards has words. so i went to check it out:

watch that. it's 'the ghost of you' backwards. i'm so so freaked out. it's really creepy. it's weird that when i listened to that song it never actually striked me as a demonic song or anything. but i'm really creeped out man.

especially the slitting wrist part. i think the reverse of that song's meaning is that he killed his girlfriend cos she cheated on him and then he slit his wrist or something. scary scary.

i'm so scared. i thought only demonic bands like led zeppelin had reverse lyrics on their songs, like 'all hail satan' and all. but damnn. not mcr too! ):

i guess i should stop listening to their songs. GAHHH.

oh but in 'cemetery drive' there's a hidden message in the song (whispers) and they were saying 'don't do it' over and over again or something. so at least they're telling you not to commit suicide. yeah.

2007-01-08T16:34:00.000+08:00

i changed my blogskin. i made it in a hurry. it's quite plain, but i'm tired of spending so much time on making blogskins and they don't even turn out nice. -_- from now on blogskins.com shall be my source of blogskins.

anyway i found another resolution to add to my new year's resolutions list: don't trust anyone.

i'm not going to be fooled by you anymore. you've lied over and over and i'm not going to trust you anymore. i'm not going to trust anyone anymore. it's just so difficult. i mean, i trust my close friends la. but i'm not gonna trust anyone else. they're evil.

i've been so confused lately. i don't like the feeling at all. it's like feeling so helpless, feeling like a corpse with 7 vultures nearby or something. it just feels so pathetic. people always give me credit for being blur. but the one tihng they don't give credit for is thinking. i think a lot. sometimes more then i want to but when the thoughts come, i can't push it away.

i feel so helpless.

2007-01-04T19:36:00.000+08:00

well, school has been pretty okay. some fun moments, like horsing around and being perverse with diane and nicole. haha. other than that, it's been okay i guess.

what's wrong with you? you're treating me so nice and then now you're not replying ANY of my smses AT ALL. i have to sms you TWICE to get ONE EFFING SHORT REPLY. Why? you were so nice to me. you said you wanted me back. now what are you doing? STOP PLAYING WITH ME. STOP PLAYING WITH ME YOU SON OF A BITCH
venting out my anger again. i do that nowadays. it helps. you should try it.

i'm so confused. i thought everything was getting better between us but now i realise it's not. damn i'm driving myself nuts.

i find so much comfort in the colour black. it describes my mood completely. i'm listening to evanescence and mcr more and more now. they're really really good. i can relate to some of their songs too.

so much for starting out the year depression-free.

2007-01-01T11:40:00.000+08:00

happy new year everyone!
yes this is my new year's post.
2006 has been a very stressful year for me. i had very little happiness, and i wasn't myself in school. i cried almost every day, and broke down in front of a mirror a couple of times.

well this year, that's not going to be me. I'm going to be as dramatic as i was in 2005, i'm going to be as loud as before, and i'm gonna SCREAM whenever i feel like it.

people may call me ah lian, goth, emo, weird (those who said those, you know who you are.) well guess what? LA-DEE-FREAKING-DAH cos i don't care anymore.

i think 2006 was really a year with so much trials and tribulations, and i definitely do NOT want that class back. sure, there were fun times. but there were so many bad times that the fun times are just non existent.

this year, i'm going to

1.improve my chinese.
2.give more hugs to people who deserve them.
3.give more love to people who deserve them.
4.be better to my family.
5.let God be my steering wheel, not my spare tyre.
6.NOT fall for anyone.
7.be nice to people whom i absolutely hate with all my heart. (you know who you are, asshole.)
8.stop calling people whom i hate 'asshole'.
9.stop using 'fuck' whenever i feel like it.
10.stop smiling whenever i see my blood.
11.make new friends.
12.be more generous.
13.grow my hair so long that i have trouble pissing.

that's the list so far.
in 2006, part of my year-long depression was my mom. i lost almost every single shred of respect i had for her.i know it's wrong to dislike my mom so much but she obviously favours my brother.i can't stand it.

i almost hate her now.

anyway i'm gonna wrap up my new year post now. i hope everyone has a great year!

XOXO,
cara.

2006-12-30T19:47:00.000+08:00

Another day
All alone again
Someone please love me
Another game
Another broken heart
Why do I do this to myself?
I can look and try to find someone
Won't leave me lonely

Then I found
Didn't need to search
'Cause You were the one and I can't resist

Bridge 1:
You opened my heart and You have won it
You're taking me over and I like that
That kind of love but I couldn't feel it
I'm so glad You found me because

Chorus:
I need You so close to me
because You're the only One who makes my life complete
Oh Lord I know it took so long to see
That You are my security
You won't go away from me
And now I
Know that I will never have to run away
'Cause my heart feels so very free
You're my security

There's no denying

Another day
Here I go again
Drive myself insane
Stop to think, how could I forget
You're with me every single day

And now I look and I see the One
The only One for me
'Cause I don't need to search for
When I try to be more
I found a love that's so secure

You fell for my heart and You have one thing
You're taking me over and I like that
Had that kind of love but couldn't feel it
I'm so glad you found me because
Other relationship's confusing
The thought of a simple love is crazy
You make me feel like no one has before

Rap:
It's like another dead end, another lost friend
You search for something you just can't mend
With another brother calling you love over supper
Spend a day, take a break,
Calling your hand, slips like sand
Stand up another man, all alone again
But with His love I can see, your heart set free
From yesterday's scars to pure security

this song reall describes my mood. btw, it's a christian song. if you don't believe me go and read it again. Surprisingly, i don't really feel heartbroken. HALLELUJAH. i love you JESUS. He's my saviour and my everything. AMEN TO THAT MANN.

anyway today i went rollerblading with liling. haha it was kinda stressful teaching her at first but it was okay in the end. (:

then it started raining and we realised we had to walk home. so we walked all the way from bishan park to my house. it was raining damn heavily and we were completely soaked from head to toe la.haha.

then we started singing 'mighty to save' damn loudly. so loudly that some people were staring at us but WHO CARES MAN WE'RE SINGING FOR THE LORD.

we were singing so much. then we started singing 'who knew' by pink and before i knew it i was sobbing. i ALWAYS cry when i hear that song. especially now when i'm in such a fragile state.

liling, thanks for allowing me to let out all my troubles and vent to you.

and everyone else, I LOVE YOU ALL. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU ALL. WHOOO.

peace momma.

2006-12-28T18:34:00.000+08:00

i'm too lazy to update on the trip. it was pretty okay.
merry christmas everyone. sigh i'm depressed again.i hate it when it's that time of the month and i always get depressed.

anyway. i need to vent.

why are you always so mean to me? it's these things that hurt the most. you're such a liar. every single thing you send to me is a lie. wtf is wrong with you? i trusted you. i'm not some ragdoll you can string along anywhere. i have FEELINGS, in case you haven't effing realised. damn you hypocrite. if you like her then make it more obvious so i can stop wasting my time on you, EFFING ASSHOLE.

phew that felt good. okay. anyway i've been going to the gym these past few days. went to the gym was suzy today. it was fun! :D but i found out that susannah's going overseas for her college studies.college is two years then she'll be going to uni. that'll be like what, 6 years? ): i'll miss you dear suzy! who am i going to 'play' with every holiday? who am i going to eat a huge bag of chips and watch trashy movies with? gahh. we gotta go out more often next year k? its your last year!<333

2006-12-14T18:28:00.000+08:00

well! yesterday DA CREW went out to escape theme park. it was fun! but so many of the rides were closed. ): but it was still fun la. haha.

HAUNTED HOUSE
we went to the haunted house. it was kinda silly, cos it wasn't really scary. it just looks like a halloween mask shop. but the atmosphere was kinda chilling, and all the screaming going on in front of me. (charmaine and kathleen were screaming like their life depended on it) hahaha.charlotte and i were behind them, and i was kinda afraid that someone was gonna come out in front of us and suck our blood from our necks but it never happened.

RAINBOW
rainbow was fun! haha i am tall enough. WHOO. i sat with kathleen. she kept tightening the seat belts! and the seat belt was like pressing against my stomach and it was damn tight la. haha but it was fun. i screamed a lot (i LOVE screaming)and i guess i kinda hurt the ears of the people who were unfortunate enough to be sitting near me. hehe.

the second time we wanted to sit on this ride, we were already on the ride and about to start when suddenly the lady said we had to get off cos there was lightning in the sky. DAMNNN.

WET AND WILD
we never actually sat on the ride. ): the first time we lined up for it, suddenly there was a mechanical check or something. wth la. so we went somewhere else. then when it was open later on, we lined up for a verryy long time, but the queue moved SO LITTLE. and there were SOOOOO many people lining up for it. so we just gave up and went somewhere else.

VIKING
haha this was FUN.we planned on screaming one by one:
charms:AH kath:AH cara:AH lots:AH all together: STAYING ALIVE! STAYING ALIVE!
haha we tried it a few times before the ride started and the people in front of us were like looking back at us. NOT HAPPY THEN FIGHT LA! WALAU! not our fault they're a couple on POMPOUS WINDBAGS.
haha during the ride we did it a few times but it was really disorganised.

FLIPPER
it was fun. nothing much to say about this one haha. we just ate before we sat this one. kathleen wanted to see if she would vomit. she didn't. (THANK GOODNESS)

that's all we sat i think. revolution and inverter wasn't open. DAMN THINGS.

2006-12-12T21:17:00.000+08:00

but you see
it's not me
it's not my family
in your head
in your head
they're still fighting;

i'm currently listening to zombie by the cranberries. when i was about 7 i used to memorise their songs and sing it loud haha. I think this song is about world war and stuff. sounds that way.

anyway i've been eating, sleeping and playing computer the whole day for the past 3 days. i'm going crazy. seriously that's all i do the whole day. just surf the net. i'm really going CRAZY. i just watched friends the whole day. then i watched antm season finale. caridee won! yayy.
i can't WAIT to get out of the house tomorrow. going out with DA CREW. once again. this time it's all of us! FINALLY.

i think i'm addicted to instant noodles, seriously.

look at it. i mean, who can resist instant noodles?! it's INSTANT NOODLES. last time i used to eat it once a week but nowadays i seem to be eating it like 3-4 times a week. damnn. i'm gonna get fat at the end of this holiday.

and i love this brand! it really fills me up. like all the way to the brim. i wish i could have instant noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner. sighh.

anyway i'm going to phuket this sunday! hehe can't wait. well sort of can't wait. usually when i look forward to things they don't turn out the way i want them to so yeah this has given me a pessimistic view on life. ):

I'M GONNA MISS PRINCE.

wow i just saw the video no promises by shane ward. almost made me cry. ALMOST.

*update* i cried the second time i watched it. damn i'm weird.

2006-12-08T15:23:00.000+08:00

2006-12-08T10:31:00.000+08:00

hello!
well i came back from church camp a couple of days ago. it was very fun! the funnest part of the whole thing (to me) was the dirty games part.
we had to play this extremely dirty game where we had to crawl on our fronts on eggs and soap water. it was so gross the stuff went into my mouth! :O and then we had to dip our heads in buckets of chicken stock then get into a sarong with someone else and run around in circles. it was fun!
there were a few other games like human bowling, etc. i tihnk seven stations all together la. it was fun shit.then emma threw buckets of water at me and i was soaked. then after that we had to play the game squish, where we had to soak a sponge and put it between our shoulders to a bottle at the other end then squish all the water out without using our hands. (hard to explain) and fill up the bottle. that was fun too haha. then wycliffe squished the sponge over me TWICE and i was soaked with muddy water. so i ran after him and chased him everywhere and threw the sponge at him. crazy ass. then i wiped my muddy hands on his shirt =D
well there's a lot more but i'm lazy to type.
i forgot to bring my camera! ):

2006-11-30T14:05:00.000+08:00

1. Real Name - Cara
2. Nickname - rah?
3. Single or taken - both
4. Zodiac Sign - aquarius
5. Male or or Female - Female
6. Elementary School - mgs
7. Ipod - nope. creative zen is better!
8. How many buddies on your list -msn? 205 i think
9. Friendster name - cara
10. Hair Color -Black with brown& blonde streaks (highlighted)
11. Hair Long or Short - short hair is funkaye
12. Eye Color - BLACK
13. Are you health freak - NO WAY. but my mom is though
14. Height - 153cm. ARGH
15. Do you have a crush on someone - nope.
16. Do you like yourself - sometimes
17. Braces? - No
18. Think you're awesome? - no. i'm RAD. :D
19. Piercings - one on each ear
20. Tattoo - nope. too painful
21. Surgery - plastic surgery or what
Firsts...
22. First piercing - p6
23. First best friends- monique, gabrielle, brenda, ....
24. First Award - 5 years old
25. First Sport You Joined- rollerblading!
26. First pet - fish (no idea what breed)
27. First vacation - thailand i think.
28. First Concert - 5 i think
29. First love - PRINCE!
Favourites!
30. Favorite movie - too many. forgot all
31. Favorite tv show - that's so raven hahaha. spongebob, but i hardly watch it nowadays. ): actually i don't watch tv nowadays.
32. Color - pink, lime green, baby blue, purple, orange
33. Music - pop, metal, rock, alternative and goth punk? (my chemical romance is classified as goth punk. i think.but i ain't no goth.)
34. Drink - stuff that ants like
35. Body part not on the face - hands
36. Cartoon - spongebob? i don't know
37. Favorite piece of clothing - my 'love is divine' shirt and my 'rock&roll' shirt.
38. Brand Of Clothing - don't have a clear favourite
39. What do you sleep in - t-shirt and shorts. sometimes i wear track pants.
40. Favorite School - MGS definitely
41. Favorite Animal(s) - PRINCE!
42. Favorite Book - too many to count! at the moment i love sarah dessen's books. they make me cry.
43. Favorite Magazine - don't read magazines. i read novels! :D
Currently...
44. Eating - Just finished lunch
45. I'm drinking - my saliva
46. I'm about to - dance with my favourite broom
47. Listening to - my computer hum
48. Waiting for - it to rain
49. Watching - this computer screen
50. Wearing - lime green t-shirt and baby blue shorts.
Your Future
51. Want Kids - yes!
52. Want to Get Married - yes.
53. Careers in Mind - nooo idea.
Which is better with the Opposite Gender:
54. Lips or eyes? Eyes.
55. Hugs or Kisses - kisses HAHA
56. Shorter or Taller - taller
57. Romantic or Spontaneous - both. like if you give a bouquet of black roses it's both right?
58. Nice stomach or nice arms - stomach?! what the. um yeah just have muscles can la
59. Sensitive or Loud - sensitive most of the time and loud sometimes.
60. Hook-up or Relationship - Relationship.
61. Sweet or Caring - both!
62. Trouble Maker or Hesitant - hesitant? as in what
Have you ever
63. Kissed a Stranger - nope
64. Drank bubbles - yeah! cherry falvoured bubbles in pri 4 with sasha and pam hahaha
65. Lost glasses/contacts - don't wear glasses/contacts
66. Ran Away From Home - yeah. well tried to.
67. Broken a bone - no but fractured, yes.
68. Got an X-ray - yeah quite a few
69. Broken Someone's Heart - maybe
70. Turned Someone Down - maybe
71. Cried When Someone Died - yeah
72. Cried at school - Yeah.
Do You Believe In
73. God - definitely
74. Miracles - Yeah
75. Love at first sight - no. that's stupid
76. Aliens - haha i should considering all my friends are
77. Magic - no
78. Heaven - yeahhhhhh
79. Santa Claus - no. ):
80. Sex on the first date - NO
81. Kissing on the First Date - why not hahaha
82. Angels - Yes God's angels (:

2006-11-29T16:30:00.000+08:00

i went knee boarding!
yes i know i said i was gonna go wakeboarding. but they said beginners cannot wakeboard. so there.
yeah well kneeboarding doesn't look as cool. but it's not as easy as i thought lor!
i kept falling halfway cos the cable will become very slack then suddenly super fast. i found out i had to maneuver it to the left and right to overcome that thingy. yeah.
well i managed to complete the whole round! (:
it was about time too.
i fell off once, and there wwas this crowd of boys heckling me. DAMN them.
"eh you fall down again i laugh ah!"
me:"laugh then laugh la!"
"careful ah don't get bitten by shark!"
me: "AHHH I JUST GOT BITTEN BY A SHARK! OHH IT HURTS SO BAD. -_-"
"be careful ah! byebye! *waves and smiles*
me: "CRAZY FOOLS!"

yeah they said that. and i replied yeah. haha.
i fell off again later on, and i was stuck.

so i had to escape like houdini. you know those magic tricks where someone was stuck and had to escape before a certain time? yeah a wakeboarder was coming towards me so i had to escape FAST. i was freaking out. and swallowing water.
then after i was done my arms were so damn weak. they were so weak i couldn't even hold a can of coke, seriously. it weighed 348594839482749 kg.

yeah then my dad wanted to go rollerblading. so i went.
then while i was rollerblading two guys were making kissy noises at me. wth? never seen a rollerblader before?!? AHHHHH i wanted to give them the finger but dad was there so yeah. crazy bitchezz. i bet they do that to every girl who goes past. damn pervs.

then yeah i went home. now my arms are so so so weak it's quite hard for me to type.

2006-11-29T11:02:00.000+08:00

cara is a crazy bitch.
anyway i was bored so i cloned myself.
this one isn't very nice. it's really stupid actually. and really messy. but at least it gave me something to do! i'm going cable wakeboarding today. yay haha.

2006-11-25T18:17:00.000+08:00

some celebrity sketchings i did on my computer( i know they don't really resemble them but i was bored!!)please click to enlarge!!:

2006-11-25T17:43:00.000+08:00

yeah so anyway these few days i've just been hanging round.. watching antm. kinda hooked on it actually. thanks to kath haha.

so i went out with kathleen to see happy feet! yeahhh. the whole crew was supposed to come but charmaine got grounded for one month and charlotte didn't turn up. so kathleen and i went to see the movie (we wasted one ticket! O.O)

the movie was great!!people say it doesn't have a storyline but it DOES man! it's about being different and how it's good. in this case the 'different' penguin (he can't sing but can tapdance) saved everyone!! he saved the penguins! yayyy.

i was bored (as usual) so i drew this on my com. i don't know why i drew it. i think it's because i was listening to 'snow white queen' by evanescence. nice song.

i wanna go escape theme park!!!! arghh but it's raining so much. damnn.

2006-11-18T21:46:00.000+08:00

haha i was bored. bleah.
anyway i've not been doing much lately. really nothing to blog about. every day i just go to suzy's house and watch two movies while eating junk food. then i go home and read a book.yes yes i know i'm such a lazy ass.

gonna watch happy feet with charmaine and kath and hopefully lots this thursday. I LOVE HAPPY FEET! can't wait hahaha.

2006-11-14T16:22:00.000+08:00

2006-11-12T21:50:00.000+08:00

today was fun!
our whole sec1 church group went out. but before that rachel, diane, liling, charmaine and i went to yvette's house. it's like really huge. and we played pool in her library! it was very fun. i sucked but it was my first time SO SUE ME. yeah then after that, we had pizza from some place called rocky's. IT WAS THE HUGEST PIZZA I HAD EVER SEEN. IN MY WHOLE LIFE. DAYUMM. it's like super big. and then liling was dripping the oil off and there was like so much oil la. then we all were like LILING!!! STOP DOING THAT! WE'RE TRYING TO EAT!! and then she said she had to drip the oil off. oh and diane also tore off the crust and started using it to blot the oil off. haha it was so silly. then i used the tissue to blot the oil off. I'M THE SMARTEST YEAHHH. haha whatever.

after that we met back at the church and met the guys then we all went to watch step up. it was SO NICE. CHANNING TATUM IS SO HOT. HE CAN DANCE LIKE SUPER WELL LA. Thanks to the movie i'm like so into hip hop and rap now. Haha. Then after the movie we were all like talking and laughing and embarrassing ourselves in public. then we decided to go to the arcade to play air hockey while the guys went lan.

i sucked at air hockey. it was my first time! BLEAH i feel so inexperienced. then later on i begged them to play dance dance revolution. so rachel agreed to play with me. thanks to her we lost the first round and i wasted my $1.50!! AHHH. okay but at least i got some exercise from dancing on the thing. yeah.

then we took neos.. and my mom said i had to go early. bleah. but the day was still fun. ((: we must go out again okay!!!

2006-11-11T11:19:00.000+08:00

hey anons. thanks for taking the time to come to my blog to bother me. i know you bother me cos you just want attention. aww well here's some attention for you! (: i hope you have found what you were looking for. And don't try to copy my clone idea by saying anon1 and anon2, cos you're most probably the same attention-seeking delinquent.

anyway.
i got tuition today!! bleah. i hate tuition. it's so boring and i don't really get much out of it. I spent like one hour doing the homework just now. then i realised how much i have forgotten over the course of less than a month. sigh.

i wanna go escape theme park! anybody wanna go with me? (: i haven't gone in ages. And i know it's pretty pathetic compared to other country's theme parks but it's better than nothing la. especially now i've grown a little taller hehe.

yesterday i realised old ladies seem to drop their ez link cards a lot. i was sitting in the bus, and this old lady came and sat next to me. i didn't mind, cos i'd rather a lady sit next to me than a man. anyway she dropped her ez link card that she was holding in her hand. then the old lady in front of me (don't ask why old ladies seem to be attracted to sitting near me, i don't know why) dropped her ez link card too!! haha and they both had the same short curly-wurly permed hair. Haha yeah. i was going to pick up their ez link cards for them but i scared the old lady will hit me with the umbrella she was holding. so i didn't. she picked it up with the end of her umbrella. (:

ok i just dedicated one whole paragraph to old ladies and i have no idea why.

boredom does strange things, like i've said before.

2006-11-09T19:24:00.000+08:00

well these few days have been pretty uneventful. the usual stuff. a baked a chocolate cake though. all by myself! *smiles proudly*

okay yes it's not very pretty i know. Like you can do better like that la! HURR.
but when i put icing on it it was actually pretty yummy.
yeah anyway today i went to susannah's house and we watched princess hours. then we got bored so i did pigtails for her while she was trying to snap candid pictures of me to blackmail me. Haha. anyway i'm pretty bored now.

yes okay that was random. i took damn long to do that. plus i took al the pictures by myself cos if i ask my bro to take, he'll be laughing his ass off.
boredom makes me do strange things. (bake cake, clone myself, etc.)

2006-11-06T12:08:00.000+08:00

I haven't updated my blog for a reeeaallyy long time, i know. Haha. anyway i decided to revive it. FINALLY. cos i've been so bored these daysso i just decided to do something with all my free time. I don't know if people will come to read it though, cos they all think it's dead. :/

Anyway, I just found recently that i'm in class 2D. I don't wanna be in 2D. I don't belong there. I want 1I back. it was so fun! though we weren't united at all, i still feel that i had a lot of fun and good memories in this class. When i saw the people in 2D, i started crying. You may think i'm being over emotional or something, but i'm not the type of people that will enjoy being alone. And i have a feeling i may be pretty lonely in 2D. But i better stop being so pessimistic or else i'll really be alone. Okay i'll stop.

anyway, here are some pictures from the last day of school.

argh so many of my photos didn't turn out. something wrong with blogger. I LOVE YOU 1I!! i don't wanna go to 2D!! ): okay i better stop complaining. STOP COMPLAINING CARA.

okay. anyway nowadays i'm pretty bored. i've been watching princess hours on youtube. it's really nice. yul is REALLY REALLY cute. normally i use the word hot, but in his case, he's cute. i like pretty boys. like Yul. hehe.

okay he doesn't look VERY nice here, because this is him looking very sad when he was rejected by chaegyung. but still. he looks quite cute right?
okay i feel very un-cara like.

2006-09-13T18:56:00.000+08:00

you bleed just to know you're alive.

yesterday we had english oral exam. i'm quite happy cos i think i did okay. before oral, we waited for our turn in the hall and mrs thompsett (sp?) said that if she hears a single person talking, she will minus 10 marks. so everyone was whispering. i read my book for a while but then i got bored. so i sat next to elan and we played 4 games of bingo. haha it was fun but she kepy winning. i've never been good at winning anything.
the oral was about street performers (baskers) and i said quite a lot of shit that came to my mind. haha. later on i waited in the canteen for 1i to finish and charlotte, rachel ng and rachel goh were with me. we watched half of the devil wears prada but had a hard time as there were only two earphones. so in the end charlotte and i watched, and read out everything they were saying. haha.

today was chinese oral. the 1i group played murderer. it was quite fun haha. i winked at hae jun and when she didn't die, i winked again. then she winked. then i realised she was a murderer too, so i burst out laughing. then i got caught. -_-
anyway on the whole these few days have been relatively fun.

2006-09-07T23:06:00.000+08:00

haven't blogged for a loooooong time. anyway this holiday i've been really busy, got so many projects to do. i just went to charissa's house yesterday to complete the bio project and we actually managed to complete it! and in between that, took lots and lots of pictures (:

me and my twin sister wanlin

Isabel and I acting cool

JUMP!

eating super rings

the bio project group

we had quite a fun time haha. today i went to study with susannah at the swimming pool. but we ended up running away from a certain 'stalker' and taking pictures of that person at his window. susannah was really paranoid. she kept looking at the window and saying 'WHAT IF HE'S WATCHING US?!' so later on the person said he was going to come down to meet us and she freaked out. so she ran into the girl's bathroom and pulled me along. but then after a long time i came out but then he just so happened to be there so we both freaked out but had to face him in the end. haha it was fun being stalked. but don't get any ideas.

2006-08-19T18:45:00.000+08:00

They'll never see
I'll never be
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
Burning deep inside of me

i like 'lies' by evanescence. it's really dark sounding which matches the mood i'm in now.

to say that i'm feeling sad is an understatement. But, as always, i polish my facade and stick it on my face with UHU glue.

anyway, i went out with the crew two days ago. it was fun! though we had to wait pretty long for charmaine cos she lives so far away. while we were waiting, this guy came up to us and called us sisters, and wanted us to combine money to make up 5 bucks for some second chance for criminals thing. We acted like we had no money, as everyone does.
when charmaine arrived, we walked to far east and walked around and did stuff. then later we argued over which fast food was better (in my opinion, practically ALL fast food is nice) and then we took neos and stuff, and then we went home.
i can't remember the details, but all in all, it was pretty cool. happy birthday Charmaine! lots of love from ~~the~~your Crew.

2006-08-12T21:16:00.000+08:00

yesterday i went for a buffet at NUSS. it's like, you pick the raw meat that you want, then you bring it to the chefs and the barbeque it on the spot and have it delivered to your table. so cool la! and you can take as much as you want.
but the salad bar is nicer. i know i sound like some health freak nerd, but seriously. i ate so much salad. the dressing is really good. and the german potato salad is SO SO good. i ate so much. i'm eating a lot nowadays. maybe i'll get FAT.(:
after that we went to the bar but my brother and i got kicked out because we were too young to be inside. bleah. and my 19 year old cousin came with us though she could stay there cos she doesn't like talking to the adults. haha.
i had a shirley's temple mocktail. it's really nice. i felt so HIGH CLASS.
then my cousing slept over and i slept really early and twelve thirty. she and my brother stayed up until 3.

going out with The Crew this wednesday to celebrate charmaine's birthday. (: happy early birthday dear charmaine!

as you can see, i'm in a relatively happy mood. (:

2006-08-09T14:11:00.000+08:00

okay i don't know if anyone will read this cos my blog's been pretty dead lately but yeah.
i like five colours in her hair by Mcfly. I just realised it's actually pretty darn good.
anyway i guess i haven't been updating my blog cos nothing interesting's been happening to me lately. i mean, i'm not as depressed as before,(though sometimes i think about the future too much and i start to cry).
actually i am quite messed up sometimes. i think about the future too much. yeah that's me, the worrier.
and i am trying this new thing where i treat people the way i want them to treat me, but it doesn't work at all.
i'm actually missing school a little. i'm quite a messed up kid i guess. but if you think about it, every teenage girl is kinda messed up in a way. so i'm not a special case or anything.
popularity is overrated. i think too many girls spend too much time thinking of popularity. i mean, everyone wants to be popular, but why not be yourself?
as you can see, i'm over my identity crisis. though sometimes i still get little questions coming into my head about my identity.

2006-07-30T14:20:00.000+08:00

yesterday was the last day of musical! i was happy in a way, but also quite sad. i actually miss those times when we were waiting for golgotha to end and we told jokes, ate chips and salty potatoes etc. quite sad that it's over actually. all in all, we did our scene 24 times. scary huh.
anyway today after church, my mom said she was going to bring us to a vegetarian restaurant.I thought it was going to be some freaky vegetable thing or something and my brother and i were like AHHHH!!but it turned out to be pretty good!
i ordered lasagna.
there was ORANGE and CUCUMBERS inside. and lots of veggies. but surprisingly, it actually tasted good! like lasagna. but there was this mysterious brown thing which i suspected to be beef.looks like this restaurant is CHEATING eh? hurhur.
then after that my brother and i laughed so much in the car over other people's names. i was laughing so much that my tears were rolling down my face like crazy. my whole face was wet with tears because of laughing too much. i prefer it that way. then later i listened to 'who knew' by pink on my zen. at first i was like hey, this tune is nice. then i listened again. i listened carefully to the words. then i started crying. out of sadness. it's a really sad song. then i replayed the song for the third time and this time i cried even more. i was really crying. the song is so sad. seriously. it's so damn nice.

2006-07-28T13:17:00.000+08:00

sec one.
it's the time that we all discover our true identity, get friend problems, boy problems, identity crisis. the whole nine yards.
the carefree days are over. those days when boys were a being that we distanced ourselves from, when friends were just girls that you could share a laugh with, when you were happy with who you were and didn't give a damn what other people thought. those days are totally and completely over.
now everybody is obsessing over looks and identity. everyone is getting depressed. everyone is claiming that they hate themselves.
why is all this shit happening? and what's more, i'm a victim of this too.
and if you think about where you are now. you're in a good school, you have clean clothes to wear everyday, you have food to eat, you're in a safe country where you probably will not get mugged on the street, etc. you should be happy with what you have. thank God we're not starving in Zimbabwe where the sun don't shine.
be thankful.

2006-07-22T13:19:00.000+08:00

and though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, for you are with me, Lord.
i've been really depressed these few days. i don't know what's wrong with me. but then i realise that i have God. i didn't turn to him earlier on when i was troubled. and now that i feel he's with me, i feel less depressed. i'm still crying regularly but hey it's an improvement.
so i just want to say Our God is an Awesome God.
really.
and i need all the support i can get. I can't keep living this facade.

2006-07-09T20:25:00.000+08:00

sleeping.
some people think it's a waste of time.
people ask what being dead feels like. you know, after you've died. what does it feel like?
i say it feels like sleeping. you don't know when it happens, it just happens and when it does, you forget everything. your existence reduces to nothing at all.
i like sleeping.
you forgot your troubles, your pain, and reality.
sometimes after a hard day, the only thing i look forward to is sleeping.
and when you wake up, it just feels like crap you know? the night seemed to have went by in a flash and you didn't even get to savour your non-existence.
and then the cycle begins. crap day, crap everything then sleep and wish for more.
i want to sleep.

2006-07-09T16:25:00.000+08:00

yesterday was the esplanade thing.
it was okay la. the first part was really boring but subsequently it was okay.
it was quite cool to see all your classmates dress up for the occasion. i wore a simple tee and a black skirt. the second half of the thing was less boring because the conductor was like MAD. he was like waving his stick around really SCARILY and i could hear people laughing because of him. haha.
i'm gonna watch world cup ~~tonight~~ tomorrow morning! at 2 am. so scary la. i'm doing it in secret. ITALY SHALL BE VICTORIOUS.
anyway i'm gonna have to cut this short cos i have to do homework and take a nap so that i don't go to school like a zombie. we wouldn't want that would we? nooooo.

2006-07-06T21:38:00.000+08:00

haven't been blogging for a while.
Anyway, today during PE was so stupid la. i went really really high and started laughing and doing cheers for 1i a little too enthusiastically until i looked mad. and Isabel and I were laughing so hard until our stomaches were so painful that we couldn't even move. and so sad Elan went for competition so she couldn't win captain's ball for us. bleah.
it's little things in life that make you wish time was not moving so fast. it's like you're looking forward to something so badly and it passes so fast and when it's over, you can never go back. i hate that feeling. i don't want to grow old and then i end up regretting so many things i didn't do in the past. so now i'm going to live every day like it's my last. or at least try to. it's not going to be easy but hey, one can but try.

whatever it sounds so cliche but yeah from now on, i'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself that i'm such a loser and i'm going to try to be happy with how God made me. YAY ME.

2006-07-01T22:16:00.000+08:00

My teacher once said that:
'i am lazy but smart.'zZzZzZ..

Never in my life have I regretted:
becoming a christian.

The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always make me smile:
Elan.

When i'm nervous:
My heartbeat becomes ten times faster and my heart seems to get hot. i don't know why.

The last time i laughed was when:
my brother started singing like a girl.

My hair is:
medium length and annoying.

My feet are:
feet.

Last christmas:
I ate roast chicken and potato salad and received presents.

When i turn my head left, i see:
the garden.

When i turn my head right, i see:
my dad's laptop,

When i look down, i see:
My jeans

The craziest recent event was:
Being in school is always crazy.

By this time next year:
I will be happy with who i am.

I have a hard time understanding:
Maths and chinese. and certain people.

One time at a family gathering:
I drank 8 shots of vodka and 2 cans of beer :D

You know i like-like you if:
all my friends know who you are.

If i won an award, the first person i'd thank is:
God.

Triangles are:
scary shizz.

My ideal breakfast is:
Sausage, scrambled eggs, toast, jammy croissant and apple juice. :D

If you make me really happy:
I'd make you happy too. :D

Where do you plan to visit anytime soon:
Canada. SKIING!

Boys are:
full of shizz.

I'd stop my wedding if:
i found my fiance making out with my bridesmaid on the wedding day.

The world could do without:
bitchy people, sluts and backstabbers.

I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than:
lick shit. any type of shit.

Most recent thing you've bought yourself:
a black marker

Most recent thing someone else bought you:
chicken wings

My least favourite time of the day is:
when i have nothing to do and i think too much.

The last time i was high:
24/7 baby

The last person i talked to told me:
what did i eat?

Last night:
I was on the phone with Elan

There's this girl i know who:
talks about football WAY too much.

There's this guy i know who:
is a sadist.

I'll tell the next person who makes me really happy:
I LOVE YOU

I'm listening to:
i caught fire (in your eyes)- The Used

I last ate:
chicken wings YEAHH

My bedsheet is:
dark blue with cartoon cats.

I smell:
chicken wings

On my table, i have:
my school cooks, tuition books and lots of other junk

My full name is:
Cara Chiang Ming Li

2006-06-30T18:49:00.000+08:00

A- Attached? no
B- Best friends? elan, kath, charlotte, isabel, cass, suzy, charmaine..
C- Celebrity crush? william beckett from the academy is... is hot (:
D- Dog's name? PRINCEy-poo
E- Easiest person to talk to? Elan
F- Favorite singer? too many to count.
G- Gummy bears or gummy worms? gummy bears!
H- Hometown? singapore
I- Instrument? at the moment i'm not learning anything. ): but i'm gonna learn drums soon!
L- Longest car ride? 6 excruciating hours.
M- Milk flavor? i don't drink milk. but i like anything that's chocolate related.
N- Number of siblings? 1
O- One wish? to be happy forever, no matter what i do.
P- Person who last called you? Elan
Q- Favorite quote? IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.
R- Reason to smile? nice stuff. nice stuff that makes me happy.
S- Song you last heard? do i make you proud- taylor hicks
T- Time you woke up? 5.30 AM
U- Unknown facts about you? i'm GAY MUAHAHAHAHA
V- Vegetable you hate? asparagus. yes the whole world hates aparagus.
X- X rays you've had? 4
Z- Zodiac sign? Aquarius.

2006-06-26T18:55:00.000+08:00

Ryan:

It's hard to believe

That I couldn't see

Together:

You were always there beside me

Thought I was alone

With no one to hold

But you were always right beside me

Sharpay:

This feelings like no other

Together:

I want you to know

I've never had someone that knows me like you do

the way you do

I've never had somone as good for me as you

no one like you so lonely before i finally found

what i've been looking for

Sharpay:

So good to be seen

So good to be heard

Together:

Don't have to say a word

Ryan:

For so long I was lost

So good to be found

Together:

I'm loving having you around

Ryan:

This feeling's like no other

Together:

I want you to know

I've never had someone that knows me like you do

The way you do

I've never had someone as good for me as you

No one like you

So lonely before, I finally found

what I've ben looking for

Together:

Doo Doo DooDoo

Doo Doo DooDoo

Do Do

2006-06-26T18:46:00.000+08:00

What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Cassie is your soulmate.

You truly love Kathleen.

You consider Charmaine your true friend.

You know that Elan is always thinking of you.

You'll remember Charlotte for the rest of your life.

You secretly think Isabel is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Choey is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that Sara is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Sara changes lovers faster than underwear.

You secretly think Michelle is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Michelle has a hidden internet romance.

What Do You Think of Your Friends?

2006-06-22T16:54:00.000+08:00

at first at the beginning of the school holiday, i missed school. i'm not sure why. but now i don't want the holidays to end! argh. so sad. i'd rather laze around at home and talk on the phone until late in the night than go to school and study study study. and probably end up sitting next to some quiet girl again. sigh.

my mom got really pissed off with my brother and i cos we wanted to eat junk food today or something. i don't know what's wrong with her la. pms maybe. i've been having pms for the past week, i think. cos my monthly friend just came today.yeah.
my mom is quarreling with my brother again today. sigh. ANNOYING.
normally i would back my brother up, but i think i better not do anything today. she's in a damn bad mood la.

i went elan's house yesterday to do homework. haha. we ended up doing everything BUT homework. but yesterday was very fun. haha.

i'm so hungry. i'm gonna have a nice dinner of potato salad, roast chicken and veg salad.mm i can't wait.

2006-06-16T20:59:00.000+08:00

hm went sentosa today. nothing much happened there la. but i had 5 slices of pizzzazz.
my gosh, i've not been that happy these days. i really want to go escape theme park but damn i gotta stay at home and rot.
but hey who am i to complain. there are so many more people who have it much worse than me. so i should just be contented, right?
i'm re-reading 'the clique'. it's good.
i'm going swimming later. i hope i don't drown.
it's already 9 pm. it's gotta be nice and dark so no one can see me in a swim suit and that's the way i like it (:
I LOVE JESUS YES I DO. I LOVE JESUS HOW BOUT YOU.
if there's so much proof he exists, why do people not believe in him? i mean like. come on. they found noah's ark. and jesus's blood. and there are WITNESSES for crying out LOUD. just BELIEVE IN JESUS LA. IT WON'T HURT YOU NOT TO.

2006-06-16T20:25:00.000+08:00

These are supposedly 30 questions that no one would EVER think to ask. Answer them, with what comes to mind first, then REPOST.
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? i can't. the mirrow would havr cracked by then
2. When is the next time you will have sex? After i get married definitely
3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"? core
4. Favorite planet? URanus. hehe
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile? kathleen! haha
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? all of them are silly.
7. What kinda shirt you have on? a green shirt that says 'sandy beaches sunny paradise'.
8. What do you "label" yourself? same as kath. freak. whoo!
9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?i'm not wearing shoes
10. Bright or Dark Room? bright in the afternoon and dark at night.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? she's a CHIO BU/flasher. and charlotte is a RARE JEWEL. :D
12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on? the one facing the window?
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? smsing
14. What did your last text message say that you received on your mobile?"oh sorry" from keri haha
15. Where is your letter box?on the first floor.
16. What's a word that you say a lot? 'huh'
17.Who told you he/she loved you last? hmm
18. Last furry thing you touched? PRINCE!!my doggayy.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? panadol count?
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? that's random. none.
21. Favorite age you have been so far? 12 definitely
22. Your worst enemy? people who are against me
23. What is your current desktop picture? a lake with the sun on it and trees. it's very calm and peaceful. :D
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "lol why what happened" to john
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, flying!... okay i change my mind. a mil a guess. but i still wanna fly
26. Do you like someone? nope
27. The last song you listened to? the academy is..-skeptics and true believers
28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet? sorry john no
29. If you could punch one person in the face who would it be? no one
30. What is the closest object to your left foot? wires.
01) What is your phone brand? Nokia!
02) What are the last 3 digits of your mobile number? 142
03) What does the 2nd message in your inbox say? "i just got my contacts! haha" -kathleen
04) Who's the first person who comes up under the letter M? michelle?
05) Who's the last person you rang? my mom
06) Who was your last missed call from? my dad
07) Who's the 2nd person who comes up under D? debra
08) What does the last message in your inbox say? 'just asking la.' from elan
09)Who comes up under J? jane john jess ... i don't know
10) Go to your Sent Items - what does the 10th message say? "she's not? damn can't go with three people. hmm. " to elan
11) Who's the 4th person who comes up under S? sopheara
12) Who's your network provider? starhub.
13) How many messages are currently in your inbox? 3! just cleared it.
14) What do you have as your background? my mom smiling like donald duck
15) Who's the 2nd person who comes up under R? rachel choe
16) Who do you have on speed dial 3? no one
17) If you're on Pay as you Go, how much credit do you have? huh
18) Who's the first person who comes up under C? cass
19) How many bars of signal do you currently have? 7. 5
20) What do you have as your main ringtone? it's on silent mode

2006-06-13T19:02:00.000+08:00

went out with elan yesterday to watch cars.
the movie's okay la. not as good as the rest of the Pixar movies, but it's pretty good. haha. the characters are cute.
then later on i snuck to her house. she had to pay her sister 20 bucks just to make her keep quiet about me being there, haha. so cute la her sister.
'don't tell mummy ah. i paid you twenty dollars already.'
'so?!?'
haha it's like 20 bucks not a big deal for her like that.
elan is freaking rich.

anyway, today i didn't do much. i woke up in the morning, talked on the phone for two hours then started on my tuition homework. i didnt get scolded by my tuition teacher this time, thank goodness. then after tuition i made pizza! :D then i went to sleep for who-knows how long and here i am now.

i wrote a poem about my current life. every paragraph is about someone/ some people. um if a few lines seem alien to you, then i probably put it in not referring to you. so yeah. it's a bad poem la, but it's about my life which is rather unexciting. so how can i come up with cheem stuff?!

depression and tears
the lethal mix that eventually leads to
a lock and load situation
but love stops even speeding bullets

to say 'I Love You' is an understatement
but against my better judgement
i'll say it anyway
fill me with fear for your empty threats
permanent air kisses stay on my neck;

I'm sorry for the pain i caused
it raised your threshold, no excuses
people change and i moved on
you still whisper sappy love songs
you keep me happy that way.

what could i say to not make you leave
i loved you so much that there was blood on my sleeve
you never forgave my bruised heart
and you never ressurected memories on my part
you assume i moved on but i never told you
i'm sorry, i still love you

It pains me to see your love uphold
but you told me i'm yours, i gave up, i was sold
The end came and passed, your embrace burned into my memory
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

we'll keep unsaid promises
you're my crew till the end.
bonds may enstrange
triangles may surface
but you'll still rock my world
until our teen hearts stop beating.

haha okay lousy material yes i know but it describes the people currently in my life. or in my memory. so yeah. as long as it doesn't pain your eyes to read it, then i'm not gonna take it off.

2006-06-11T17:29:00.000+08:00

my tagboard has been down for three days, so it looks rather empty, sigh.
my dad didn't subscribe to the world cup thing. so i can't watch.
i want to study but i can't, i'm too lazy.
i don't feel like cara anymore.
i feel like someone has taken over my body and has called herself cara just to show the world she's the same.

2006-06-08T16:06:00.000+08:00

i went out with kathleen yesterday! :D
it was fun. haha. we watched she's the man! it rocks la. it was so funny! and it just rocked la. haha. oh and before that, we were lining up at isetan to buy two peach teas for the movie. then someone interrupted us.
cara: haha you knocked over the jap thing
kath: my fault is it! you--
random angry guy: *flails hands in the air angrily at kath and rah*
cara: umm.
kath: umm.
RAG: *pushes hand in between kath & rah, does a parting motion with two hands and glares angrily and rah while taking a jap pamphlet*
cara: *looks away to avoid angry stare*
kath: *stares into space and sees poccahantas*
RAG: *does angry hand motions all over the place, signalling to our sling bags and his sling bag, then walks away angrily.*
kath: WHAT TH-
cara: WHAT THE HELL
kath: DAYUMMM.
cara: what the hell la!

and yeah you get it. don't ask about the poccahantas part, i just thought kathleen looked like she saw poccahantas.
that was scary okay! then later on he looked as if he was following us on the escalator and we got really scared. that guy is FREAKING scary.

ben and jerry's: my two new LOVIES.

2006-06-04T18:44:00.000+08:00

shit i'm sad again. why? i dont know.
i wish for a lot of things.
i wish i was popular.
i wish i was pretty.
i wish i was smart.
i wish i could go back to p6.
i wish i could wake up every morning and know that everything's gonna be okay.
i wish i could be happy.
i wish... ...
on and on and on... there are so many things i wish for. and to know that none of them would ever come true. well that's just sad. maybe that's why i'm depressed all the time. i'm not happy with who i am.
i'm a really lousy friend and i know it.
and i know i'm not the only teen who's going through all this shit, but why does it seem that my pain is worse than the rest of the people i know?
and i know it's not fair to think that way if people are out there starving on the streets with no home.
but why can't i be happy?
i want to be younger again. i want to be innocent and happy and ignorant. i want all that. cos it's true that ignorance is bliss.
what's wrong with me?

2006-06-03T13:04:00.000+08:00

"Name 20 ppl u can think of at the top of your head."
1. kathleen
2. charlotte
3. elan
4. susannah
5. charmaine
6. cassandra
7. choey
8. charleen
9. diane
10.rg
11. isabel
12. jane
13. jess
14. michelle
15. anna belle
16. rachel ng
17. pamela
18. charissa
19. liling
2o. wayren
When did you meet 14? primary 1
What would you do if you never met 1? my life would have less colour
What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? throw stones at them
Did you ever like 19? if i were a guy, i'd say no.
Would 6 and 17 make a good couple? if they were lesbian
Describe 3. funny, tall, pretty, cool and cute!
Do you think 8 is attractive? i'm gonna assume this is optional.
Tell me something about 7. scary (in a good way)
Do you know any of 12's family? her brothers?
What's 8's favourite? her brother?
What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you? she's straight.
What language does 15 speak? english, chinese and baby talk
Who is 9 going out with? HMM. LET ME THINK.
When was the last time you talked to 13? today
Who's 2 favourite band/singer? hmm hillsongs?
Would you date 4? i'm a girl
Would you date 7? hmm YES! hahah
Is 15 single? i'm sure
What's 10's last name?. goh
Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 13? i don't know.
What school does 3 go to? MGS!! whoo
Where does 6 live? casa esperanza
Whats your favourite thing about 5? she diamonds
Have you seen no.1 naked? hasn't everybody? YOU FLASHER LA YOU

2006-06-01T19:56:00.000+08:00

today went out with DA CREW.
we were gonna watch 'she's the man' but then we realised we only had less than 5 hours to do whatever we wanted to, so in the end we opted for trying on clothes, eating fried mars bars, buying clothes, buying belts, and taking neoprints. it was great fun. haha. we have to do this again.
oh and i was apologise for my manic-depressive behavious those last few days. my 'monthly friend' just came today. that explains it. PMS.
PMS should be taken very seriously. people actually LAUGH when i say that. it's a serious issue okay! sometimes, i feel so down under that i just feel like life is no longer worth living.
i think there should be a medicine to prevent PMS. you know, a pill or something. then when we eat it, INSTA-HAPPY. whoo.
ok anyway. i want to shout this out to the WHOLE WORLD to hear.
i'm not a lesbian or anything close to one.
for those people who have been calling me one, go screw your parents. stop trying to make me feel like i'm not good enough for this world. GO AWAY. i'm totally straight. and i know it. who the hell are you to effing judge me. who are you?! you think you're God?
well, he's the only one that's fit to judge me. i can judge myself too. i know myself so much better than YOU do, thank you very much.
and the reason why i apologise so profusely to some people is because i don't like people to be angry with me. i hate the feeling of someone veing angry with me. especially someone very close to me. it makes me feel like shit. and so when i apologise profusely to someone, it doesn't mean that the person i'm apologising to is my boyfriend. don't misinterprete things.
so i want to get one thing straight. i'm not lesbian at all. is it a crime to love my friends? after all, they're the reason that i haven't killed myself yet.
they're the reason why MOST OF THE TIME i wake up with a smile on my face.
so can i help it that i treasure them so much? why can't i say i love you to them without being called a les? after all, i do love them. it's the truth.
and if you can't accept me for who i am, go away. cos i'm tired of you people judging me and lowering my self esteem. i don't need you people.

2006-05-30T22:41:00.000+08:00

well. today elan came over and we just hung around in my room for a long time, ate lunch then went to junction 8 for a movie.
x-men 3. so sad la. jean grey die-ded.
prof xavier died-ded.
cyclops die-ded.
walau. the good people. all die-ded. sigh.
and well today was quite a nice day i guess.
but right now i still feel... empty? i don't know.
no not empty. that sounds too cliche. i don't know what. i feel sad. a whole lor of emotions at one time.

you know, during hols i'm so so so bored. then when go back to school, i sit next to a quiet girl and i only get to see my friends for 45 mins during recess. and we're eating. then we go home, study, then go to bed.
in the morning, we wake up and the cycle continues.
is this our life? every single day, the same thing over and over and over again.
i'm getting tired of it. i wish i was someone else.. more exciting.
i wish i had more colour in my life. i want to have meaningful things to do.
sigh. without friends, i think i may be drowned in my own pool of sorrow by now.
thanks for sticking to me when i was a psychopath, lending me a shoulder to cry on when the psle results came in, (actually all of us were hugging and crying), making your presence felt in my life.
i want it to last forever. i want us to be friends forever. but we don't know what will happen. maybe we may go to diff classes.
or we may lose contact, so caught up with our seperate lives.
but no matter what, i love you all.
okay i sound like a mushy fool. now i feel so.. sigh.
sometimes i wonder why i even have friends. )':

2006-05-28T21:32:00.000+08:00

ever woke up in the morning with a sense of dread that the whole world has left you and no one loves you anymore?
that's how i felt this morning. and the rest of the day.
no one takes me seriously. and yet the only people that do are too busy with their own happy lives to realise that i'm actually hurting.
and okay i don't blame them. but what did i do wrong?
i want to change. i really do. but i just can't. and i think i'm gonna fall into another pit of depression.
yes, fake a smile at me, why don't you. give me artificial light to make me happy, when i've actually been in the shadow all along.
tell me i'm nice and all that shit when deep inside you wish with all your heart that you would never be in my state.
lie to my face that you love me so much when actually inside you're seething with hatred.
call me a fucking drama queen when all i need is just a little more attention.
the whole world has left me and i need something to hold on to. Jesus, please come sooner. i can't stand it anymore.
what does the world want from me? does anyone need me? if i'm gone, will anything change? for the better of for the worse?
i know i sound like i'm just a deranged girl who just wants everyone to feel sorry for me. i don't need your sympathy. and if you really don't care about me, you can stop reading right now.
i try to be nice to everyone. i treat everyone how i want them to treat me, but it doesn't always work.
i want to love the world. i don't want enemies or people that don't like me. but nothing ever goes according to what i want it to. nothing.
to everyone who's reading this, you can choose to pretend like you never saw the rantings of a deranged girl seeking sympathy, or you can try to accept me for who i am. an annoying, irritating, mean and selfish girl.
my tears have officially dried up.

2006-05-27T15:19:00.000+08:00

yesterday i went to lovemgs and sat with elan, charlotte, angeline and charissa. it was good. the worship was good. (:
well so the hols have begun. somehow i don't feel as happy i should be. i don't know why. i want to go out.. but i'm stuck at home today. i got nothing to do. i'm so bored. i actually miss school. not the studying. not the homework. not anything like that. i miss the people. ):
i want to go great singapore sale! stupid elan. so lucky. get to go with your mom.
hey CREW, we have to go out some time k! i'm bored out of my wits. i need to get out and get some sun. or i may turn into a crazy psycho vampire and give the whole world hickeys MUAHAHAHA.
yes okay. i'm so so bored. everyone out there is doing fun stuff but me? i'm stuck at home with nothing to do. sigh.

2006-05-20T13:37:00.000+08:00

hello! (:

well today nothing actually happened. it's a boring day. yawn.

last night i watched MI3. it's pretty good! haha.
yeah. i wanna watch:

over the hedge

x-men 3

The Da Vinci code

yup. if anyone wants to watch, sms/tag me k? (: can watch with me. haha.
i've been thinking a lot. i just realised that i don't like any guy at all. i thought i did but i guess i was forcing myself to, so i wouldn't feel guilty about his unrequitted love. i do that quite a lot. i guess i better stop. it's hurting people.

2006-05-11T20:22:00.000+08:00

1. First Name? cara.
2. Were you named after anyone? not that i know of..
3. Do you wish on stars? when i feel that desperate.
4. When did you last cry? today.
5. Do you like your handwriting? no.
6. What is your favorite lunchmeat? luncheon meat? hehehe. i think chicken la.
7. What is your birth date? 22 January 1993
8. Mountains or Beach? beaches definitely.
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? yeah i think so.
10. Do you have a journal? yes
11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? oh no, no, no. i don't use it AT ALL. not even a teeny weeny bit. never ever ever used it in my LIFE. (yes i do)
12. Do you have a nickname? yeah i think so.
.13. Would you bungee jump? absolutely!!
14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope.
15. Do you think that you are strong? no. not in any way.
16. What is your favourite ice cream flavour? vanilla with chocolate chips. sometimes blueberry. depends on my mood.
17. Shoe Size? 4
18. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? i'm selfish, self centred, bitchy, annoying and ugly. ):
19. who do you miss the most? my old self.
20. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back? whatever makes you happy.
21. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? pink shorts, no shoes.
22. What are you listening to right now? Thank you for the venom, MCR.
23.Last thing you ate? spaghetti! (:
24. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? lime green !!
25. What is the weather? daarrkk. and there are bats too. kinda scary.
27. Last person you talked to on the phone? das.
28. Something you notice about the opposite gender? they are asses. big asses.
29. Do you like the person who sent this to you? yesyes!!!
30. Favorite Drink? pepsi, coke, sprite? ice lemon tea.
31. What is your favorite sport? roller blading
32. Hair Color? blackish and some parts brown.
33. Eye Color? black
34. Do you wear contacts? Nope.
35. Favorite Food? junk food!
36. Last Movie You Watched? i forgot.
. Favorite Day of the Year?christmas, birthdays, etc.
38. Scary Movies or Happy Endings?happy endings.. most of the time.
39. Summer or winter? i think everyone in singapore would prefer winter for a change.
40. Hugs or Kisses? hugs
.41. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? ice cream
42. Who Is Most Likely To Respond? the people who respond to this.
43. Who Is Least Likely To Respond? the people that don't respond to this.
44. Living Arrangements? i live in a townhouse (sort of like a terrace house in a condo) with my parents, brother and maid
45. What book are you reading? Angels and Demons- Dan Brown
46. What is on Your Mouse Pad? yellow squishy stuff.
47. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? i didn't watch tv last night. ):
48. Favorite Sounds? laughter, water and music!
49. What is the furthest you've been from home? canada.
50. What do you admire about yourself? .. i don't know.. i can understand people?

2006-05-11T20:03:00.000+08:00

i'm back haha.
yesterday i went out with cassie. we got lost in orchard because of me again. haha. we couldn't find far east plaza. bleah. but we managed to anchieve two things- trying on clothes at zara and taking two sets of neos. haha. then i went to her dance class. quite cool. quite fun. (:

today in the science lab i got burnt by the hot tripod stand. (heated by bunsen burner). it looked quite gross. kinda like melted skin or whatever. and like later on it was swelling with juice like a blister. then after that someone accidentally threw a quoit onto it then all the liquid burst on my face. it was quite gross. ewwww. it's on my wrist there. some people thought i slit my wrist. bleah. then like some of my friends thought i cut myself. i'm not suicidal ok!!

and yeah. now it looks quite gross. especially after i bathe. like peeling flesh.ehehe.

2006-05-08T20:36:00.000+08:00

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18 and find line four: and what if i don't do it?
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can: heh?
3. What is that last thing you watched on TV:MTV top 20
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:8.32
5.Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?: 8.35
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear: my brother whistling
7. When did you last step outside?What were you doing: this afternoon to eat carrots
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at: kathleen's blog
9. What are you wearing: pink t-shirt and red shorts
10. Did you dream last night:nope
11. When did you last laugh:just now when kathleen told me zane wanted to call her mama.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in: dust, some certificate, air conditioning thingy, some wood dunno what
13. Seen anything weird lately:my mirror
14. What do you think of this quiz: IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME DON'T YOU TAKE IT AWAY.
15. What is the last film you saw: ice age 2 i think
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy: i'd give money to my papa, to my mama, to my BRUDDER, then to charity and take ONE STEP CLOSER TO WORLD PEACE. yo.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know: i want to pierce my ear cartilage. er and i have a LEMON IN MY HAND AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT. yo.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you change: i want the people to stop polluting the ocean. JELLYFISHES ROCK.
19. Do you like to dance: only when no one's looking.
20. George W Bush: yo papasan.
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what will you call her: Raine or Teri
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what will you call him: JIMMY!
23. Have you ever considered living abroad: who hasn't
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gatess: my parents and grandparents are all inside waiting for me.
25. 4 people who must do this in their journal: charlotte, likim, elan and pearlyn? haha

2006-05-05T17:47:00.000+08:00

Under Her Skin-

A smile. A heartbeat.
Apparent true love.
Chains that bind. Entice your mind.
Letting go the past in a whisper.
The lingering present. The haunting past.
True love never lasts.
Another empty promise. A phone call that never came.
Shadows her heart in apocalypse.
Unrequitted love. Torn pieces of paper.
A moment that repeats itself.
The will to go on. The blood streaked road.
Deceiving herself like no other.
She buries her heart in denial; a mark of weakness on her wrist.
Six feet under, buried deep.
but he's still under her skin.

drama night.

2006-05-02T18:04:00.000+08:00

okay i can breathe a sigh of relief. i didn't mess up. i didn't get booed off stage.
i went throught drama night. (:
it was so cool. it was so fun. all those months of training paid off.
when i'm on stage, i forget everything. every single little minority. it didn't matter so much anymore. all i did was set my mind on conveying what i wanted the audience to see and there. (:
it was so cool. when i flirted with the girls, the audience cheered (:
and random people came up to me and encouraged me. haha. and also said i was a pervert. ( i was a playboy in drama night)
yeah and though i may sound ego, i'm not trying to show off or anything. it was my first ever performance in drama and i managed to get it down. (:
haha i have excessive amounts of smiley faces in this post. i'm just trying to say. thanks all. for supporting me and all. i appreciate it. (:
even some girl from the other cast group who used to hate me and all said i was really good. and i just felt so.. encouraged.
and my drama cast! they were all so encouraging to me! ( i was the only sec1 noobgirl in the whole cast).
and yeah. haha. my identity crisis is quite much over, and i just have to accept what i am and what i never will be.

2006-04-23T16:38:00.000+08:00

ok last night i went for dance night with charlotte and rebecca tan... it was okay la. nothing much to comment. some of the items were quite boring. but i saw a lot of the true sides of the mg girls.. they all dress like sluts. as in like 90% of the sec 3-4. yeah.anyway.

today i went to charlotte's church.
it was quite cool.. and herbie can't dress for nuts. and she seems to be quite unfriendly. yeah.
it was quite fun la. ehh who is that person on charlotte's blog? getting annoying.

anyway.
you are a hypocrite.
you trash me on your blog, call me a 'fucking person' or whatever childish label, then in school you treat me all nice and all.
i see through that honey coated shit you load on me.
and i don't like what i see.

(none)

2006-04-19T22:07:00.000+08:00

i am so depressed.
did i want to start a war with you?
no. YOU STARTED IT.
i hate everyone.
can't you see i am sad?
can't you see i am bleeding?
can't you see i am broken?
no. you can't.
you STUPID BITCHY INCOMPETENT FOOL.
you started this war. but i'm not going to end it. i'm going to MAKE SURE THAT I AM NOT THE ONE THAT LOSES IN THE END.i won't apologise for something i did not start.

boring post don't need to read

2006-04-18T11:42:00.000+08:00

hello. (:
haha sorry for that depressing post. i was depressed that day. now i feel normal.
in the com lab now, during computer studies. haha Ms Tok gave us the very lovely privellege (sp?) to use the computers. however, the computers are slow.
anyway.
Jane is so what la.
i called and she pick up and just said
'sorry my mom is here gtg bye'.
wtf?
is that how you treat me?
no one treats da cara that way. tsk.

i LOVE 'to the end' by mcr.
it's so nice!
thankies to da kathleen for intro-ing it to me.
BULLCRAP BUDDIES YO.

):

2006-04-16T16:15:00.000+08:00

lately i've been quite emotional and sad.. i don't know why..
it's like i've been wondering why i am me..
why can't i be.. i don't know.. someone better?
someone nicer.. prettier.. better personality etc.
why must i be Cara?
why?
i don't know why all of a sudden i'm thinking all this bull..
it's just... i'm sick of myself.
i don't like my personality. i'm selfish.
i'm mean.
i'm not smart.
i'm not good in anything.
i just don't see the point, you know?

read between the lines of what's effed up.

2006-04-13T17:51:00.000+08:00

hello. haha. i am officially a big fan of ~~pink~~ Green Day!! YAY! it rhymes. haha. anyway. today was the annual swimming meet for mgs. Elan was competing! so was rachel goh. they're all freaking fast la. like wah chong across the water like a ~~bunsen burner~~ jet stream. so fast la. then Elan freaking for 1st place for C division. so fast shit la. it's kowtow time! *does the one and only 'cara kowtow'* anyway. rachel goh is so fast la. in her c division thing (diff stroke) she got 2nd. she lost to crystal fung by like 1 second la. i mean. crystal is very fast so surely will win one so she not counted so in other words, rg got first position! yay! *pauses for a moment to give imaginary medal* yeah. then afterwards me, charleen and elan went to junction 8 to watch ice age 2. then we also took neoprints. haha.

the movie rocked! it was so funny. the squirrel scenes were so cute and funny. then like elan kept holding tightly onto my arm cos she was trying to get my heat. so i'm so hot. ^.^ and you're so ~~cool~~ cold. haha. envy mee. yeah then charleen halfway go out to buy sausage. then she bought for all three of us. then later elan went to buy sausage for all three of us. then in the end i didn't buy. so i owe them both a dollar. haha. but then charleen took home my mp3 so i charged her. yeah. elan so tall. can be model. then i can be a ~~bottle-nosed dolphin~~ bunsen burner! yay! haha elan you look like a tooth fairy/mentos.

beetles freak the shit out of me.

2006-04-04T14:44:00.000+08:00

something really sad happened to my friend.. it's all over the papers. just to let you know, we're here for you ok? don't worry. ^.^
anyway, last night while i was bathing, a huge beetle (a rare species of beetle, i dunno what type i've never seen before) flew into my eye. WHILE I WAS BATHING OK. walau. i saw a thing flying towards me then before i knew it, I COULDN'T SEE. and i was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH then i used to spray thing to spray my eyeball and it flew away. wth. then i was screaming it burns!! while the beetle was drinking water from the wet floor. walau. so i tried to shoo it towards the window (people can't see in, don't think bad stuff) and then it refused to budge. so then i had no choice but to spray it down the drain. i felt so sad when i did that.. ): anyway then my handphone started ringing so i stepped out from the shower, grabbed a towel and answered the phone. it was that michelle person that were trying to get us to buy tickets to the ACJC concert 'the tempest'. 25 bucks. 0.0 yeah so she called and like asked whether i was still buying, etc (do they do that to every single person that expresses an interest in it?) yeah then i said i gotta ask my mom, blablabla then i put down the phone and went back into the shower and i almost slipped on the water. there was water all over the place cos i was trying to spray the scary flying beetle with the shower thingy. so scary la.

walau!

2006-03-30T11:03:00.000+08:00

SARAH IS AN ASS MAN. boy. she sucks. she's damn mean la. SIGH i don't miss her at all la. DAMN.
anyway, i am in the school com lab. the coms here are damn nice. like so high-techy. and yeah. so today nothing much happened so far... besides the HISTORY TEST. it was so hard! it's like. walau. so hard. ok i think you get the picture haha. i WANT TO EAT RECESS! but charleen, rachel and joan are like in the com lab. updating class blog. haha. I WANT TO GO EXPRESSO. but i flung my math test so my mom don't allow me to go anymore. so sad. I WASTED TEN DOLLARS OF MY OWN MONEY TO BUY THE TICKET AND NOW I CAN'T GO. GOOD RIGHT?!

i love you but i hate you.

2006-03-20T17:51:00.000+08:00

okay so lately i have been not posting yes as usual. shut up.
anyway, i have been playing maple a looottt. it rocks. i made a lot of new friends.. haha.
anyway. these few days, for some reason, i have been missing sarah. i don't know why.
i mean, i really hate her. she's such an ass. but i really miss her.. i don't know why! so stupid! she dao me like crazy! she doesn't bothe replying my messages! she doesn't like me at all anymore (i think) but walau i miss her. why? so stupid. anyway. church camp was good. haha. we watched goal. and yeah i got to see jess everyday. haha.
yeah. well church camp made me think.. i don't think i'm being that good to God..
sometimes i kind of.. feel embarrassed to raise my hands when worshipping him.. i do it quite often now but sometimes i don't dare.. especially when i'm next to my friends who don't even sing, let alone lift their hands. i still did it la. but she gave me some look.
i feel like i'm not being good enough to him..

anyway.. charlotte! why your blogpost so scary?! so you gonna move on?

I WANT TO STOP BUT I CAN'T STOP.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

2006-02-14T14:48:00.000+08:00

hi! happy valentines day everyone!! hahaha. i'm bored and likim started blogging first so i decided that i'd update my blog after all that time it's been sleeping. yeah. i don't care if hardly any people read my blog today,but i'm gonna tell you people to go to my blog so yeah.. anyway here i am, once again, ~~i'm torn into pieces~~ oops. i mean yeah here i am again. once again. i'm waiting for drama to start. bleah. walau. i ran around the whole school trying to find where the drama was held cos no one was in the audi, then after like 3 hours, i dialled the teacher and the teacher said it starts at three. ------...-------'''''''''''' biiiiig diao. literally. i'm sweating my ass off from running all over the place.anyway happy valentines day everyone, i love you all! haha i got 5 roses. pathetic. -.- but yeah that's my life. ): likim is next to me typing all sorts of shit on her blog. yeah.. she can like make a 400-word long post on shit. pro. (sort of) so anyway today was valentines day with a chocolate fountain and all. and there was like marshmallows and stuff to dip. but unfortunately when i got there the chocolate ran out.. and there was like melted chocolate streaking the whole table and all.. I FEEL LIKE LICKING THE TABLE K. STUPID TEMPTING CHOCOLATE ON TABLE. but yeah. hey hey i used to look forward to drama, but now i'm starting to dread tuesdays.. cos
1. i'm a stand-by. stand-by=do nothing for three hours and listen to people rehearsing.
2. immediately after drama, which ends at six, i have tuition until 9. then i can only start doing my homework after that. why don't i do my homework during drama, you ask? maybe cos i'm on stage and everyone will be wondering WHY THE HELL THE FRIGGIN EXTRA IS DOING HER HOMEWORK ON STAGE. then the 'mr moustache' (WanLin calls him that) he is gonna like bite my ass off man. and like yeah. so CRAPOLA. ok i gtg for drama now. byeeee!

(:

2005-12-20T16:33:00.000+08:00

you are lust, your animal is sexy tim the cow
"Lust is an inordinate craving for the
pleasures of the body." one of the deadly
sins that is harder to get away from (just read
some of the stories on this site and you'll
know what a mean)

Which of the seven deadly sins are you? Redone with pics!
brought to you by Quizilla

the pic is so nice right? so pretty. but i do not lust k.

on a diffrent note, some of you may know that yesterday i switched course. i am no longer tied down. i am sorry for hurting your feelings, but it's for the better. for both of us, yeah? i'm actually quite sad about this whole thing. but well. good things cannot last forever. that's quite sad but it's quite much true. well not completely true but..yeah you get it.

anyway. i am eating cherries. (: they taste good.

i am going christmas shopping later. you guys, if you want a nice christmas prezzie, then you have to tell me waht you want if not i will pick your christmas prezzie and therefore you will SUFFER for it will probably be something from a dollar store or something. muahaha. that's right. feel the wrath of cara.
anyway. extra day is officially over. ): sad i kinda liked it.

and i think i'm still gonna get attacked by flying bunnies. ooh i'm so scared.

EXTRA DAY!

2005-12-13T15:12:00.000+08:00

ok i came up with this day called 'extra day'. it's a day when everyone becomes totally extra-ded and lame.
how i came up with this brilliant idea, you ask?

from ele!!! (:
she inspired me to create that from that post with the convo with her bro. haha. that's the meaning of extra-ded! =]
so she started this extra-ded-ness.
i'm gonna continue it!!
lookie.

ok like today i went to the shopping centre and said FUCK! really loudly and people were staring..they all thought i was brave, daring, and cool. well du-uh.

that's what i call extra-ded-ness. (: pass it on! =]

* no offence meant to eleanor. i was just bored, that's all. (:

korea (:

2005-12-06T20:48:00.000+08:00

hey you guys.. i love skiing. (: anyway i feel quite happy.. i'm goin to everland tomorrow. it's supposed to be the closest you can get to disneyland. in korea. yeah.. it's freezing here. jerome! how dare you say it isn't freezing?!? grr. anyway.there is a lady in a yellow ski jacke outside screaming 5 DOLLARS! 5 DOLLARS! haha. yeahh. yesterday we went to a hot springs thing. it was soo-oo niiice. but one part you have to strip naked and go into he spa thing.. i didn't dare of course. haha. but i went outside into the cold and swam in the freezing water.. no la. bu i went outside and swam. there was a heated swimming pool with SULFUR in it. it's supposed to be ood for the skin. it scared me so i went for the aromatherapy one and some hot spring one. the water was about 40 degrees. it was nice and hot. perfect for the weather. (: but when i came out i saw koreans (female) walking around NAKED. how gross is that. yuck. and they were like, 50 years old?? so their nunga-nungas were SAGGING. like realllyy sagging. it was sooooo grosssssss. i covered my eyes. anyway i blog more when i get the chance to. now i gotta get to bed. bye ya'll.

friends forever..<33

2005-11-20T17:46:00.000+08:00

hey everyone.. i'm feeling quite sad that we're all leaving mg.. and i'm also feeling really scared of the results. i keep having this mindset that everyone is gonna get in except me. but i'm shan't be negative (:

ok..so i can't decide what my second choice would be..1st is definitely mgs sec.

should it be fairfield? all my good friends are putting that as a second choice.

or should it be paya lebar?

or maybe CHIJ toa payoh? it's near my home and it's quite good..

or maybe st. margerets? but the uniform sucks.

shit lah. can't decide. what do you think? you can post on my tagboard if you wanna suggest anything k. i'm confused.

but if we all do get into mgs.. then there is no guarantee we will be in the same class right..and i don't think we can exactly be friends forever either.. i mean, that's quite impossible right.

and who knows what's in store for us. maybe we'll all go to diff colleges and forget each other..

or maybe some of us might actually keep contact forever or something. that'll be really cool.

but to all my friends that have helped me smile when i was sad and listen to all my shit, thanks for being there. i love you guys.

to pam: sorry i couldn't go to your birthday party. and i'm sad that we kind of 'shu yuan diao le.' but you'll always be my crazy long haired freaky anooying friend! happy birthday babe!

oh and i forgot to say on previous posts. happy late birthday kathleen! sorry bout the crappy prezzie. i was kind of broke.

back.

2005-11-01T12:06:00.000+08:00

first i'd like to say: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLOTTE!
yeah baybeh!! i am BACK.

so yeah i can go to charotte's sleepover and birthday.
yesterday i went shopping for charlotte's bday prezzie with charleen. we bought some stuff for her. sorry hor charlotte we're not taht rich so we can't buy you an above $25 prezzie like eleanor. (btw eleanor when you buy someone a prezzie, you're not supposed to tell them the price or how expensive it is.)
yeah.
well i bought some gum and stuff. to give my friends. sorry i got so little grape flavour. ):
and i bought the t.a.t.u album. their newest one. it's not even out yet in singapore. i bought it for $4. and all the songs are intact! and sung by them! (sometimes those fake cd's are sung by some unknown people. very sucky.)
oh yeahhhh.

going to penang.

2005-10-27T14:45:00.000+08:00

hi everyone! i am changi airport, freeloading off their free internet services. (:
well i didn't go school today because i had to pack my bags and stuff. and it seems that it was very fun in school today. grr.
why is it that everytime i am absent, everyone seems to have more fun?
do i post a threat to society? :S
so strange huh. whatever.
ok well i will try to buy stuff for my friends lah. without going broke, that is.
byeas!

wth.

2005-10-24T18:12:00.000+08:00

i am PISSED.
i run through the rain and survive shit, and then i got into a taxi.
when the taxi was nearing faber garden, i told him to keep to the right and turn at the next turning.
THEN HE STARTED GIVING ME A LECTURE ABOUT MANNERS, SAYING I HAD NONE.
LIKE, WTF.
i am PAYING him to DRIVE, not GIVE ME A STUPID LECTURE ON MANNERS.
and besides, i didn't even say it rudely. i said it with my normal voice, and ended the sentence with a 'thank you'.
taxi guy: i hear the way you talk, like no manners like that. you have to say more politely. you say like your attitude very bad like that.
me: okay..sorry. -.-
taxi guy: see? the way you say like got bad attitude. you have to be more polite you know.
me: okay. fine.

then he talked on about my bad attitude, blah blah..
WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?! SCOLDING ME AND ALL THAT SHIT WHEN I AM PAYING HIM TO DRIVE ME TO MY HOUSE. WHAT THE HELL.

so stupid.

well, before that, i went to orchard with charlotte and kath. we took nice neo's. (:
then laqter on when i was walking towards the mrt, guess who i saw.

I SAW THAT WEIRD AH BENG GUY.ASKING FOR MONEY.

AGAIN.

doesn't he ever give up?! so he came towards me while charlotte was on the phone and then he said something like 'excuse me..'
but before he continued, i immediately said 'sorry sorry we're broke.' and then i walked faster.

i wasn't going to get tricked twice la. wah lao.

then i heard a girl laughing behind him. i am damn sure that there is no charity, but they do that to get money for themselves. i mean, like wah lao. >.<

i feel pissed man.

hmm.

2005-10-19T21:52:00.000+08:00

today i went out with kathleen. we were walking around and stuff. then this lady came up to us and was like, telling us a looong story about education and donating and stuff. so in the end kath donated 1 dollar and i donated 1 dollar too. then we walked on. we had very little money left, and i wanted to by those cool wire-strings from wheelock. then this ah-beng type guy came up to us. the conversation went like this:

ah beng: hey we're doing this thing on ex convicts, it's a fund, and we need donations..

cara:*sees all the $10 donations* um. we're kinda in a hurry.

ab:i'm not asking you to donate so much.. but this will only take two minutes. how long will 10 dollars last you? one day? maybe? okay so you see there are many ex-convicts.and they need....blahblah..second chance..blahblah...blahblah..can you donate?

cara: we already donated just now you see. and i have hardly any money left. i need to buy strings from wheelock. *turns to kath*.

kath: um.i don't have any money...hold on lemme check..

ab: then you can contribute 2 dollars, then she contribute 3 dollars, then can already. i'm only asking for 5 dollars. quite little what..

cara: but i need to buy my strings. i have about 3 dollars left.(blatant lie!)

ab: can't you buy your strings another day?

cara: i can't, i only come here like, once a month. (blatant lie!)

kath: *fumbling in pocket* um..i can't spend all my money, my mom will kill me..*accidentally flashes 5 dollars*

ab:see, you got 5 dollars. can donate what..

kath: bitch!

cara: slut!

ab: well you can donate 3 dollars.. i can give you change.

kath: okay. *turns to leave*

(when we're far far away..)
kath: FUCK YOU BITCH!!*points middle finger and says inaudible vulgarities*

i can't remember why kath suddenly called me a bitch and i called her a slut. but that ah beng guy was being WAY pushy. wah lao he looked like an ex-convict himself lor! he kept looking towards a couple of ah lians and ah bengs and like, smiling at them or something. i think they are associated with him. i think there is no fund at all, maybe that's their way of getting money.they go around asking little girls for money. and when the little girls say no, i bet they rape them or something.
CHEATING LITTLE INNOCENT GIRLS OF THEIR MONEY. TSK.
and then after that kath and i kept talking about that weird guy. and kathleen kept saying vulgarities. and for that day, i used quite a lot of vulgarities myself. i shall stop now. and i shall start smoking pot yeah kath?

hehh. just kidding. (i have to say jk cos i scared i kena arrested by police.)

anyway, i don't know why got so many ah beng encounters. just the day before, there were a couple of guys in the hdb block shouting weird things when i was with suzy. they were shouting it at us. but i'm sure they were mostly headed for suzy. then they said stuff like, 'what primary school' and 'follow us' and stuff. scary sec 4 guys hanging round hdb void deck.

after-psle outings

2005-10-14T19:23:00.000+08:00

well today i went out with charleen, charlotte and kathleen. it was fun! we walked for so damn long, and took nice neoprints. in our school uniform. (: and i bought a new pair of earrings with charleen. we had fun (:

nothing much to say. i'm in a good mood now and i do no wish to spoil it by typing out all the bad stuff that has happened these few days.

(:

psle sucks shit.

2005-10-07T14:46:00.000+08:00

well psle was tough.

english: quite easy. nothing exciting happened.

math: math was really tough. the last question is totally shit! wth is that?! running up steps?!wahaha i appeared to be wanking with my chair and charmaine was stroking the table leg in a suggestive manner.and i kinda tore a page cos i was frustrated when i did so much working and my answer was wrong. you'd be angry too right?!

chinese: chinese was okay.charmaine was making two little dollies have sex haha. and i was stroking my table too. oh yeah, and charleen had a tsunami.

chinese is considered easy. so if it's considered easy, then..science should be difficult. i heard that it's gonna be more difficult than last year's paper. and last year's paper was hard, according to my friend.

i am so gonna write a letter of complaint to tharman shamugaratnam and demand that they raise everybody's marks (except the smarties) by 8 marks. wahaha.

grrr. i am so pissed lor! i got really pms-y yesterday thanks to the hard math paper.

currently: addicted to my burned copy of good charlotte's 'the chronicles of lfe and death', courtesy od kathleen. and i am supposed to be mugging. but yeah whatever (:

dum dee dum.

2005-10-01T20:57:00.000+08:00

i made another cut in my arm. (:
well some weird people in my class are making cuts too. it's quite fun. sure, it's painful.. but yeah. (: is the stress getting to us? hmm..(:
haha cali called the psle hotline thingy and said she was gonna commit suicide. and she did it on a payphone. haha strange girl. (:
anyway my new found obsession is mr brightside by the killers..
Mr. Brightside
Coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss

Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking the drag

Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his chest now

He takes off her dress now
Let me go
And I just can't look
It's killing me
And taking control

Jealousy
Turning saints into the sea
Turning through sick lullaby
Joking on your alibi
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
I'm Mr. Brightside

(repeat)

sounds a little sick yeah. but i like it. it's nice. i also like boyfriend by ashlee simpson. i didn't steal your boyfriend. whoo! ^.^

well nothing much has been happening. four more days to psle. i'm scared. i did some studying today. go me! but yeah. it's not enough. i am going to have to push myself..

does that sound sick? nope it doesn't. my arm is stinging sigh. but i'm totally not suicidal lor. i can't wait for after psle! i don't wanna die! arghh.

i composed another poem. i am in a poem-y mood today. ((: yeah. it's called chains. i am scared for my psle..grr.

psle.

2005-09-23T17:04:00.000+08:00

i woke up today to the horror of the realisation that PSLE is in 12 days time.
i'm definitely not prepared.
i tried to make a study nerd vow. you know, 'till death shall we part, my chinese textbook.' but did i stick to that vow? nooo...
i'm such a lazy bitch. i made that vow two days ago. and each day i've been surviving on a minimal study time (half an hour to one hour).
i am aiming for 240.
i know it sounds dumb. i have 12 days to study for 4 subjects and know every single basic and extra fundamentals of each of it. 12 days!
but i am definitely looking forward to after psle.
shop till we drop!!
*BONK*
i think i dropped.

hmmm.

2005-09-22T20:18:00.000+08:00

well nothing's been happening. besides mrs ng giving us tons of homework and me leaving it to last minute.

13 days to psle.

oh boy. i can't wait.
-.-''

pms.

2005-09-17T15:12:00.000+08:00

warning. i am having pms. do not piss me off. or you'll be sorry.

mcdonald's galore.

2005-09-16T14:41:00.000+08:00

YAYY.
i don't think i screwed up my psle listening comprehension.
anyway after school i went to mcdonald's with a big group of friends. i had my lunch there.
then everyone was laughing and playing around so much, and a group of sec guys from the next table asked *beth 'what school are you guys from?'
and *beth replied 'can i don't tell you? must i tell you?'
then he like don't care lor. then later on he said to *beth
'you damn pretty leh.'
and then i guess some of us heard, then soon everybody was making fun of her. then someone said 'you want her phone number?' to that guy and he was like 'i want i want!!' then everybody went kind of overboard and she cried. luckily i left before that with megan. i took public bus all the way from school back home with meggie! WHOO. it's an accomplishment for me okayy. cos she went out first then i took the rest of the journey to my house alone with a weird old man behind me. i felt weird cos we were the only ones left on the top deck on the double decker bus.

but then i came out and the road was clear. so i started dancing in the middle of the road. then i sat down. then i lay down.then a car (veryvery far away) came and knocked me down.

no lah. haha. but it honked at me. it was so damn far away! so i ran across the road and screamed 'JERK!' when he passed me. heh.

ladeedah.

2005-09-14T21:48:00.000+08:00

haven't posted in quite a while. anyway kat and i were trading songs and stuff over msn just now. her's rocks! really cheem. so cool. and she takes more than half and hour to bathe! i think she's sleeping in there. i haven't finished my homework. i only completed the section b of english. i'm supposed to do 2 more science papers and 3 more chinese papers. so screwed!! I DON'T LIKE BEING SCREWED. ( did that come out wrong? 0.o) i'm scared that mrs ng and lao shi will skin me alive. and eat up my insides and put my blood and my beating heart into a blender and blend it into a smoothie and drink it up. i wouldn't want my insides eaten, no sir.
i taste bad. ask the mosquitoes.
well i'm eating fisherman's friend now. the extra hot one. i ate 3 in one go. now everytime i breathe, i feel minty fresh! ((: and when i take a deep breath, my nose has MINT OVERLOAD! and it hurts. but nevermind. (: i like it.
charmaine i like the pictures you drew using paint on your blog! it's damn cute. about those people (mentioning their names leave a bitter taste in my mouth.) yep. oh yeah kat your story rocks my socks off. ((:
YAYY.

new mp3 player. and stuff.

2005-09-10T13:33:00.000+08:00

hey everyone.
i have a new mp3 player! ^.^ got it free after buying a holiday tour package thing. but i'm happy with it(:creative muvo. it's white. so i'm gonna personalise it with my best friend... the black permanent marker! whoo!

and..yeah. nothing interesting has been happening lately. i mean, actually interesting things have been happening. but i'm not allowed to post it here. sorry.
((:

pissed with people.

2005-09-08T18:45:00.000+08:00

i am so, so frigging pissed.
eleanor, charmaine, why are you guys fighting on my board? how did the fight happen? didn't you guys alrady forgive each other? 0.o

many other things happened today which also contributed to my foul mood. i'm not allowed to say here, so nevermind. but i am so, so, SO angry.

and to a certain someone, please stop acting cool. it's really stupid. everyone but you can see that you're just trying to project a 'cool' image, but it's not working. -.-

what is wrong with everyone? anyway. today nothing much happened, besides me talking to charlotte for hours.

currently addicted to: helena by my chemical romance. bubblegum. ice cubes.

oh yeah, happy birthday, liselle. sorry i forgot to attend your birthday bbq. but i'll get you a present.

going out.

2005-09-06T21:10:00.000+08:00

(:(: i am in a good mood because i went out with my friend today and we took many neoprints! ((: yayyy. and we watched herbie fully loaded! it's so nice! >.< and i realised that couples sit at the back of the cinema to make out. hahaha. i bet during that make out scene, the couples were going crazy back there. oh boy. i've actually seen it with my own eyes. so scary.ok now i am in a bad mood again. cos something happened. i am not gonna type any further. bye.

sad and happy.

2005-09-04T16:42:00.000+08:00

well, i'd like to say happy birthday rachel choey!!sorry i forgot. but i will get a small prezzie for you okay? i'm still broke. yeah. ): sucks. oh yeah and something bad happened to one of my best friends today too. i'm really sorry, and i hope that everything will get better too. but remember, we are always here for you. kay babe? we love you! <3 yeah. i'm in a slightly better mood today than yesterday. and i composed another poem. inspired by a certain best friend.. i will show it to you guys when school reopens. kay? well, i'm grounded and i'm not allowed to be here, so bye! (: sorry for the short post.

how to break my heart.

2005-09-03T18:18:00.000+08:00

how to break my heart.

things needed: red paper,black pen,scissors

cut out a heart.
write my name over and over and whisper it like we ever had a flame burning.
tear it up and let it fade into the darkness.

i am depressed. again. i don't know what to do now. charmaine, you don't need to force yourself to get over Jane.

i am into poems nowadays. it has more depth and meaning than songs. songs can be quite shallow.and poems don't need to rhyme.

i think i will go back to my room to sulk now. and write poems.

tuition blues.and more.

2005-08-30T19:45:00.000+08:00

i just had tuition. i came late so i had to sit next to the guys. and the guy next to me kept staring at me and my paper.haha too bad for him, my answers are all wrong.(: hmm. well i found out this thingy from alexa today. it's so freaky! it really works. sooo scary.
1. trace a cross onto palm
2. hit the palm and the top of the hand. ask the person which one hurts more.
3.flip to the side that hurt more and press 5 points onto it.
4. ask which point hurt the least.
5.ask the person to think of a circle or a square.
6.keep pressing that point. if you see a circle, she's thinking of a circle. if you see a square, she is thinking of a square.
freaky huh? it really works.my instructions are confusing, i know. anyway, i was playing with kathleen's pen knife and i felt like doing blood thumb prints, so i slit a small part of my thumb. it was a little more deep than i expected, and i did't know it would work. so i did blood thumb prints. hehe. and my thumb kind of stings now. but charmaine is worse. well at least you didn't use a pen knife. but charmaine, stop doing it. do you honestly think it's worth it? you are seriously foolish, in case you don't know.
anyway cassie told me a story thing. i'll post it here.

kelly has a boyfriend called dan. they love each other.
kelly has a best friend called fiona. fiona loves dan.
dan doessn't love fiona.at all.
fiona tries to kill herself. kelly is sad.

what should kelly do?

please post your comments on the tagboard. oh yeah, charmaine, if this sounds slightly familiar in some way, it is something else. cassie (remember the sec 1 girl?
) told it to me. okay? and well i wanna help too. (yes, i am kayppoh.) (:

ear infection.

2005-08-25T18:00:00.000+08:00

oh. crap.

i just found out that u have an ear infection. oh no. and it has pus! yucks. so scary. well, it's my fault, i guess. i shouldn't have taken out the earring so many times. sigh. shit lah. shitshitshitshit. i'm not in the mood for an infection right now.ARGH.now i have to sleep on my left side. oh no. why now for an infection to just come out of nowhere? why now?!

whoo!! maths down. 3 to go.

2005-08-22T18:31:00.000+08:00

yay!^_^ so happy. charmaine improved by 30 marks. i improved by 20 marks. for maths, by the way. i knew you could do it charmaine! you are so smart now. well, one down, 3 to go. today nothing interesting happened in school, other than Mrs Ong* acting as if she has PMS. haha mean old mooo! yeah.oh yeah.i'd like to take this as a chance to say
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARMAINEEE!!<3

*names have been changed to maintain anonymity. or however the hell you spell it.