so my birthday's coming soon. normally i'd be really excited, but it seems that birthdays have lost their meaning and all. i'm trying to arrange everything to celebrate with my friends but they always can't make it. I guess they just don't care. Anyway i've decided i'm going to get another piercing.Don't know where exactly but i'm definitely gonna get it. it'll be my birthday present to myself.

well i've been alright these few days. nothing exciting has been happening, and i was sick recently with a slight lung infection but it's okay now. I'm not feeling happy. My happiness nowadays is very short lived. it's not fair how other people can be so happy-go-lucky while people like me have to suffer beneath a 'oh-i'm-so-happy-look-at-me-i'm-smiling' exterior.

well i hope you're happy now. that'll be the only 'good' thing that's coming out of my depressiveness.

every day, i just don't have anything to look forward to anymore. it's sad. I've lost almost all my innocence and almost every shred of long-lived joy and happiness.

ah screw it la.